Maternal and Paternal collide!

We were definitely raised in maternal family unit. Father was there, but, we all know Mom, Grandma and Great-grandma were the policy makers. Dad was the figurehead, very active, but submitted to the love that he had for this woman(of whom we were jealous). She called the shots and there were no questions when mom called the shots the shots were called.
My husband comes from a completely Paternal system. For 26 years, I really hadn't realized the complete opposite perspectives that we came from. Now that we are both in the grumpy stage of life, we always butt heads on just that distinction. I do believe that the husband is the head of the wife and signed on for that and so did he. Still, there are times when I want to assert my dominance overtly. He is strong enough to deal with that. Thank God.
Now, I just say, would you tell those children this or that. Asserting my way, in imitation of my mother, unwittingly. But instead of the condescencion that I saw at home from my father, Your wish is my command. He takes the reigns and goes, "Ya". I am always happily shocked at the sense of peace that there is in not being the boss of him. He's the boss and when I'm right, he tries to listen and when I am wrong he tells me so. You would be surprised how peaceful a life that is. Peaceful, I say, but not comfortable. I want a Coup De 'Tat! I want a take over, but the troops are well raised and submit to his leadership, so I guess I am out numbered. I do miss the maternal society I came from and just have to visit NY to see a comfortable maternally led family. Miss you girls. AAAHHHHHHH!