It is Good Friday and Loss Day for me!

God is more than good on Good Friday! He amazingly makes you look at yourself and the sacrifice He made on your behalf,every year and every day, if you let him. I am rejoicing that it was for me, that Christ went to the cross. I am rejoicing that He daily holds my hand through every season of life. Today is the anniversary of one of the darkest seasons. Still, so many questions linger about my God's attention to me, in that season of my life. I feel that I will always have them. But the blooms on my grief tree render sweet reconcilements of God's Greatness and my misconceptions. All that we study about Him is not the half of what He is. His Attributes could be studied for eternity and would still pale in the light of His reality. My heart and my mind are looking over the little body of my precious baby Ben and now I see Jesus standing and holding me up in my deepest grief. Sometimes, my pain makes me blame Him. Like my little babies that I care for raise their hands to hit at me, for their lack of understanding. Jesus does the same for me, everyday, when my grief and frustrations take me to the limit. He wipes the tears and teaches me His way. It is really about learning to worship Him.