Next week, I changed my schedule

to an earlier time. I don't know how I will be adjusting. I woke earlier this morning to try to get myself oriented. If you don't hear from me for a while, that is why. I do doubt that I will stop writing. It is a real "catharsis"(a mommy word)outlet, for me.
Now, is a great time to change, before the rush of the new year. But, I am sure that when Elyse comes home on Sunday, I will be tempted to do an all nighter to hear all about the cornfields of Iowa. I have never been there, except through reading about it with John Steinbeck's Travels with Charley. :).
My eyes are getting more adjusted and my knee is better from the bad kick that took me out for most of the summer. We were celebrating Enoch's birthday and Evvy said mommy, how do you do that kick and I did 5 backward kicks in a row, don't laugh. The next day I couldn't put pressure on that knee. I am still taking it slow on the steps. Have only been out to the courts a couple of times with a brace and then couldn't walk after that. I am still coddling it. I cannot afford to lose my knees like this. I am grateful for the recent relief, I have felt. I thought it would never heal.

Glasses are ordered and gotten for my sight-deficient fellows. Now, there are 5 with glasses and 3 without. What a ratio!
At work, I am able to congeal my thoughts and get away from the ratrace and confusion of so many needs. I feel refreshed, somewhat, when I get home and can better enter into the 5 year old and 10 yr old and 14,15, 19, 22 year old varied conversations, not to mention, you know who. Work seems to put the differing relationships in perspective for me. I have been looking at it as wearing different hats and I can say, what am I doing right now? I am being this persons mother, I owe a listening ear and a sympathetic heart. I am being a wife and or a friend, I owe a loving commitment and feeling of loyalty to this or that conversation. It seems to help, when I think about it that way and I don't get overwhelmed as much. There is always going to be an unsatisfied customer in my house as there always is at work. I don't have to be everybody's everything, just their mom and wife, or visa-versa.

It is beautiful there and I have been trying to write to my Ezra, giving him some little stories about the grounds and how I think about him, even when I can't be with him. He reads like a whip so I leave him stuff on the blogs for him to read and hopefully get to know me. I am sympathetic to the lessened time that the baby of the family has with mom, being married to one of the younger ones of the family and I hope to leave him something that will help him to know that I thought about the fact that I didn't want to jip him by having him at an older age. I know that sounds stupid to you, but Ben misses his mom and dad and it does seem unfair that the older children got so much more time with them. It does all equal out at the end, I know.
We see how the older grandchildren, in the W. family have memories of my mother-in-law and mine don't. They have a few, but...Well, anyway Ezra reads so well and is always going on the computer for the PBS and other things. My goal is to work on an interactive website and put some of my games and stories on their. I am starting with the blog and he reads it, when I remind him. I am patterning it somewhat after AA Milne and a book when we were 6. I started when Ethan and Christina were 6 and the theme is outdated for them, so now Ez will be 6 in Sept. and I am hoping to finish it sometime this year. Time flies when you are having fun. It is just a tool to give him some exposure to me, even though sometimes my nerves are fried and I can't give him the attention that I would wish to. I am trying and I hope that he can see that, one day.

Jackie is going to say, You are thinking too much again Jayne. Okay, I am, but, what else is a mother to do?