We were already friends and husband and wife. But something happened that would make us parenting partners.I had absolutely no intention of giving birth on this day 26 years ago. It wasn't like the subsequent births, where I was so anxious and uncomfortable at the end of the time. As far as I was concerned, I had a couple of days to go. We had taken some of the classes for childbirth, but not all of them. It was a Sunday and I felt completely in control, for the very last time in my life. {Grandma Ruth used to say of that state of being "Youth is wasted on the young!"} I had a delightful weekend with my friend over the house. We were giggling like girls and ready to take another Lord's Day Sabbath enjoying the presence of God and oneanother. This was not to be. Breakfast was made by my friend of scrambled eggs and we had discussions about hard or soft cooked scrambled and which were preferred by each. Every sentence stuck in my throat as I saw the eggs a few more times that day. I swore that I would never eat eggs again. It was so thoughtful of her to take care of my husband for me and give me leave for a leisurely preparation for the day. We had a gorgeous, old fashioned tub in that lovely appt. I knew I should have showered, but we only had a tub. Bathing after eating breakfast pulled the plug. Oh dear, today? Right now? Maybe not? Now, I know what happened, then, I was guessing. Owwwwww! the first labor pain hit. Oh no, this is not at all what I had expected. I am definitely, positively not strong enough or woman enough to become a mother today? I said no. Let's think this over, now. I must have had about 10 labor pains before I told Ben. He was very ready for this day. He had stopwatch in hand immediately and was ready for the coaches role that he had prepared for. I don't want a coach, I thought. I want out of this experience right now. Too, late, you must grin and bear it. Breakfast was coming up and my delightful friend was quickly becoming a source of anxiety. I thought I had this in control. I thought that I was ready to be a mother. I was almost 25 years old. I had prayed and fasted about it, before even deciding to concieve and I was ready to quit before I had started from afew pains in the stomach. What a wuss? "Get rid of her!" I pleaded. "She can't see me like this!" He was mortified to think that I would say that. What happened to his godfearing wife ready to spend a Sunday, at the Lord's feet? He looked at me or looked for me in my eyes as if to say, where are you? You have to get rid of her. I can't pull myself together and we are going to have hours of this mess going on today. There was no class about crazy wives in the child birthing classes that we took. He had to wing it. He chose to accomodate me and speak to my dearest friend, for me. I think we both had dreamed of taking a trip and kissing oneanother goodbye and my coming back a mommy. Labor pains were coming on top of eachother and I was scared to death. There was no 5 minute break between, like they told us there would be and we were clearly at the beginning of the process. First babies can take hours or days to come, after the first labor pain and this was aweful. The love of my life and father of my baby took care of the outside obstacles to my sanity in delivery and I took care of trying to compose myself. I tried to figure out where it was hurting the worst. I couldn't get a grip of what to do first. Urge to push, pain, eggs, etc. I was not able to figure out what to do first. When dear friend went to church we called the midwife. Oh no, I had to talk on the phone to her, now? I hate the phone. Her voice was comforting. She knew what was going on. I said I am at 10. She said you are at 1. You can talk about your pain and you are civilized in your discussion with me. I said okay. We made the plans to meet her at the hospital and she assured me that we wouldn't deliver on the way, regardless of how bad I felt. I obeyed and my husband saw my eyes return to some semblance of self. This helped him, too. Why natural? Why so natural? I ask myself and we had so many reasons that I could never write them all. We were experts on what Dr. Bradley had said about childbirth and we were sure that we were doing what was best for our baby. Well, she got here. She was natural. Her daddy helped her be born and they bonded years before I forgave either one of them for what happened that day. I love being a mommy and I love that she is a woman now and waiting longer than I did to ever think of having a baby. Happy Birthday, Elyse!
Friday, November 9, 2012
26 Years ago today! The Delight of our thankful hearts began.
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Title- The Studious One!
Of biscuits and syrup
Happy Saturday!
Widdle Emmie in outer space school
Emmie jumped on the bus and off it flew out into the atmosphere. There was a set of clouds with turbulence right above the house and it took a few minutes for my Emmie to buckle her seatbelt. They hit the bump hard and it knocked my Emmie out of her seat and she bumped her head. The video camera came on and the monitor looked through and stated, Ms. Emmie, where are you? You are not in your seat. Where are you? I am alright I fell because I hadn’t buckled correctly. Well jump up Emmie we have a long way to go and you have to be buckled there is entirely too much turbulence in the stratosphere for you to unbuckle now. As soon as we are through this weather system there will be straight sailing but right now you must buckle. Emmie scrambled into the seat with intensity and purpose now. She watched every cloud pass her window and her nose was pressed to the window trying to see the top of the house as it drifted slowly out of sight. Soon they were not only out of sight of the house, the sun came out brightly and just as quickly they were putting on the atmospherical breathing apparatus and the outerspherical lights. The ABA and the OL. These precautions were to make them appear to be satellites to the radar as they were out in the ionosphere. Emmie knew all about this now. She had gone to the orientation and had a good breakfast and it took them 20 minutes for her to get out past the atmospherical pull and to feel the zero gravity. It would be 15 minutes before the gravity simulators would take effect, a glitch in the system which was being worked on. Until then, they enjoyed the couple of minutes of floatation, while being connected to the seats by belt. The first thing they saw everyday was the strataflotsam. The items which had been dumped into the atmosphere by earlier generations. What would their generation do about this ecological waste area that remained floating above their heads? This was a question for the generations. For now it was the area that they had to guide through on the way to school.
My little Emmie
ran to the bus on the first day of the last year of school. 2 buns on the side of her head. She kissed me and ran at dawn to the bus. She was starting the adventure of a lifetime. I would never see that little girl again, she was going to woman school!
My Father and I 1989
to the tune of Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme
A VISIT TO PAPA
Are you going to Mary Immaculate?
Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,
Remember me to the one who lived there,
He once was a true love of mine,
Tell him to buy me an acre of land,
Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,
Between the muddy Hudson in Jamaica Bay,
Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,
Tell him to sow in it seeds of pure cream,
Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,
And build Ice cream mountains and buildings of whipped cream,
Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,
Tell him to reap them with sickles of M&M’s,
Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,
And chew bubble gum and eat till we’re done,
Then, He’ll be a true love of mine.
Tell him to run it off down the motor parkway,
Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,
After your done 50 pushups
and jog down the West Side Highway,
Then he’ll be a true love of mine…
(Don’t wait for me today dad, The kids are sick again, My tummy’s bulging again, My heart is aching again, And now there’s no love there…)
He once was, a true love of mine….So, Girls, I do beg you don't miss your Daddy,Apricots, Chocolate cherries and Pie,You have one short chance to see him on this side, Go visit him and let your light shine.
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