Monday, August 30, 2010

We lost Donna, this weekend past.

What a sad providence! My heart is sad. I thought that I would see her one more time, on earth. I thought that I would get to tell her how she helped me in this Walker life, that I have chosen for myself. Her passing was too quick. The cancer made it into the liver, before we could blink.
We do trust that God is good, even when our hearts are broken. It does seem griefs are too frequent, the bigger the family is.
I married into this humongous family unit and my awe was aroused that I couldn't ever emalgamate. Two women held my hands and walked me through the Walker idiosyncrasies and traditions. Now they are both gone and I am the eldest, longest married Walker Woman. What does that say for marriage?
Donna was a hospitable and organized woman. She was a lifelong teacher of 4 year olds. All of my children benefited from her play with them. It was amazing how she commanded authority and was very mature and usually the voice of organization and principle, in spite of her daily socializing with preschoolers. There was positively nothing immature about her. She kept her personal individuality, inside Walkerdom and all of the Walkers respected that about her. I, most of all. She lived a useful and precious life and is gone far too soon and I am sad. I am praying for her husband, John and her Daughter, Rachel, Son, John-David and Granddaughter, Brianna.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dancing with my sons

I gave the sacrifice of praise for years, after a severe loss in my soul. I said to God, I will praise you and He upheld me in my grief. I must say that no joy is like the dance that we did at the openhouse on Monday. I and all three of my sons waltzed through to carry the lone grammar school boy to his second grade. I said this is beyond belief. They were there and they were with me and we were not crying. This was the dance of restoration. This was the dance of joy and real relationship beyond all that my hopes could wish, when I was in my grief. Why are you taking pictures Mommy? You don't know how much you guys delight my soul, is the response. Mother is looking at you and she is pinching herself.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Today's dry run at back to school was a success!

Get back to school. They all woke up early. They all got dressed and ready before the time. They all ate... Now lets try it for the real thing tomorrow...We'll see.

Friday, August 20, 2010

5 Days till School, Yippee!

We have had a whirlwind summer and lots of fun and squabbles. It is time to get back together and call ourselves to real disciplines. I love August!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Teamwork is interesting, if not fun?

Our car is affectionately referred to, by us, as "Fretful Carriage". She is a part of the family. She is very fickle and really only likes "Daddy" to drive her. Yesterday, she had a temper tantrum. We woke up and the battery was dead. "Not on my day off?". I checked the oil and it was nearly dry as a bone. (She leaks and we have to check her oil regularly) Well, we got a boost from a dear friend and got daddy and Elyse to work.
The children know that I have to be cajoled to go anywhere with them in "Fretful", for various reasons. En took it upon himself to clean my fridge. Now I was at his beck and call. Can we...? Can We...? CAN WE...? Go to...PETCO? That sounded like a good request. Petco is only about 10 minutes up the road (as the crow flies). I would have to, of course, take my nap first and then...(maybe). En carried his clay tools. He was remaking the face on one of the action figures and took all of his clay tools to do this, while we were in the car. This is a very odd thing, for me to agree to have these sharp instruments in the car with us and I nearly put my foot down, but it will be okay; if you put them in something so they are not flying around the car. He got a ziplock bag to put them in( I called that his satchel). Several arguments ensued, because the other boys couldn't get En's attention. So after the carefully carved face was completed. Ezra, determined to get En's attention. Pulled all of the clay off of the face of the character. What a pain? I heard no grunt. I heard no yelling, just, matter-of-factly telling me, what he did. (I felt like I was in the book Little Women, where Amy threw Jo's manuscript in the fire). (What a meany is my Ezra!, younger siblings know just what to do to crush the heart of their elder, they seem to study this.) He gave Ezra his attention after that, I must say.
Well, we went to the PETCO and there were sharks there, which was part of the discussion as to why we had to go there. Now don't you go reaching in and crushing the sharks, Ezra, do you hear me? Ethan is a big boy, but the two of them never want to go in the same direction. I haven't the patience to chase them both simultaneously and you know how I feel in stores. We spent about half an hour to an hour oogling at the animals and wishing for one of each kind. Do you think Emma would eat a parakeet, Mom? No, Emma is very gentle with little animals, honey. We will see, when we get a moment we will give her the opportunity. When we walked out of Petco, it was later than we thought, maybe we spent more than an hour in there. I was too busy keeping my eye on Ezra.
We picked up Elyse and then went to Ben and the car was struggling, I knew, but hanging in there. We have a makeshift fan contraption that was melting in the heat of the day. After these months of putting it together, layers and layers of goo and electrical tape had congealed together and it wasn't holding on. We have to plug it in, everytime we turn on the car, or it will overheat. I kept pushing it in and it kept coming out. I think we can make it to pick up Ben and then home. We travelled, seemingly effortlessly to his job and sat outside waiting for him. I looked at the fan contraption.
When Ben came out, we plugged in the fan and set off. 2 miles from his job and just before the highway the thermometer started to rise, perilously. Uh-oh that means the fan is not working.

We pulled into a parking lot and lo and behold the radiator was spewing and sputtering. "Oh fretful, what will we do with you?" Ezra was soaked with sweat, so I sent the children to the store together to enjoy some air conditioning. Ben and I set out to fix the connection to the fan, once and for all? What will we do for tools. Does anybody have a scissor? Elyse, looked in her "Barney bag". Nope! What will we do? Enoch...can we use your satchel? His clay tools were just the right combination of sharp and dull instruments to recreate the connector. Ben and I took the tools and worked together to recreate the current to the fan and it worked. We bought some more antifreeze and oil and "Fretful" was back on her feet again. It was a whole lot more complicated than that, I must say. We picked up the children from the parking lot and travelled home in a "new Fretful"(so to speak). She had gotten our attention, like Ezra and we had gotten hers. What a kind providence that En decided to carry the satchel!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The party is over and it is time to get down to brass tacks!

Summer is almost over and there are many lessons that I have to impress on my children that come out in huge waves over them. I don't mind having a temper tantrum, every once in a while. We are a Christian family! What do you think we are doing here?
Yesterday, was one of those days. I am very angry. I don't like having to yell...maybe, I don't mind yelling at the kids, so much. :) I know, I don't have much more time of being able to yell at them like this, so I take advantage sometimes. I try to pick my battles, but, I don't mind telling them who is the boss. That is the one area, where I can be my bossy self.
Yelling was not the word. They were ready to get my medicines for me. Are you alright? No! I am not going to be alright, until you understand what I am saying to you is important. Okay, Mom, I am sorry. Then the tyrade ends. I hope it sunk in, is all I have to say. Now, I have to think of an adequate punishment. ;~

Saturday, August 7, 2010

The First Week of August is over already?

Wow, The summer is flying by. This week, Ethan has preparation for middleschool, day camp. He will meet his classmates and see the new teachers in the morning on Tuesday. How exciting that must be? It is a little hard to identify with those new experiences for my 5th child. I have 2 able women, who remind me, when I am remiss in my duties to my children(butinskis, LOL).

I spent a hilarious evening with the women of the household, last night. They are a bunch of fun. A little too crass for my taste, sometimes. The dry sense of humor and the beauty of the toughness of the Missy and Helena style of Bodden girl gatherings is very interesting. They are breaking on eachother and ranking on eachother constantly and drunk on one anothers' company. They do much to inspire and expire one another. I tell you, I have never laughed so hard in my whole life. The stories of the schoolgirl crushes and the artistic endeavors. The goals and dreams that we shared. I had to take some time and break into the room on the other side of the house to find these ladies and get to know them again. I love when I have the weekend off, it affords me this luxury. I can't believe that such different women could have come out of me. I do miss my sisters, though. We don't do as much breaking on one another. :)
I am so glad the the ladies welcomed me into their confidence on a whim.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Yesterday, I spent a couple of hours at the pool.

It was so beautiful. It is too hot to do anything else, but lounge in the pool. LOL My friend's neighborhood pool is enormous. We went, after work and spent an hour at her pool. They have a 10 minute adult swim. I learned that I am nervous about a huge pool. I wanted to traverse the length of the pool, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. 10 whole minutes, with the entire pool all to myself, was delightful. Still, I didn't use the entire space. I should have attempted to swim the length. I was too nervous about travelling that far, off my feet. I love that Grandpa would spend the whole time that we would be at the beach off of his feet, as I recall. I like knowing that my feet can reach the bottom and I keep checking the ground every 2 minutes or so to make sure that it is still there. I must get to the point where I can keep my feet off the ground. It was so fun with the children, but, it was more fun to have 10 minutes to myself in that enormous and beautiful pool.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Saturday was my Daddy's birthday!

My Daddy was delivered by Dr. Lang. Dr. Lang was a very old man, when I met him. Dad loved him very much. Mom loved him very much, too. One of the best stories that I heard from Grandma Monica, was the story of Dad being born. I listened intently. I didn't know that this would be the very last story that my Grandma told me. She would get very sick after that and couldn't tell me any more about her life. The babies were born at home, in those days. That was enough for me. I didn't have any babies yet and Muffy was the only baby that we all had. I could not imagine Dr. Lang and Grandma delivering Dad in the house. For some reason, I always thought about a hospital with Dr. Lang. His office was a very complicated room. Lots of books and lights and spectacles. Lots of stuff for the imagination to run with. One little bowl of sugar free candy was in the waiting room, living room of his office. I loved that little bowl. I loved those memories of knowing someone, so very different from us.

Title- The Studious One!

Title-  The Studious One!
artwork by Elyse

Of biscuits and syrup

Of biscuits and syrup
tasty treats

Happy Saturday!

Happy Saturday!
a day at the Raptor Center.

Widdle Emmie in outer space school

Emmie jumped on the bus and off it flew out into the atmosphere. There was a set of clouds with turbulence right above the house and it took a few minutes for my Emmie to buckle her seatbelt. They hit the bump hard and it knocked my Emmie out of her seat and she bumped her head. The video camera came on and the monitor looked through and stated, Ms. Emmie, where are you? You are not in your seat. Where are you? I am alright I fell because I hadn’t buckled correctly. Well jump up Emmie we have a long way to go and you have to be buckled there is entirely too much turbulence in the stratosphere for you to unbuckle now. As soon as we are through this weather system there will be straight sailing but right now you must buckle. Emmie scrambled into the seat with intensity and purpose now. She watched every cloud pass her window and her nose was pressed to the window trying to see the top of the house as it drifted slowly out of sight. Soon they were not only out of sight of the house, the sun came out brightly and just as quickly they were putting on the atmospherical breathing apparatus and the outerspherical lights. The ABA and the OL. These precautions were to make them appear to be satellites to the radar as they were out in the ionosphere. Emmie knew all about this now. She had gone to the orientation and had a good breakfast and it took them 20 minutes for her to get out past the atmospherical pull and to feel the zero gravity. It would be 15 minutes before the gravity simulators would take effect, a glitch in the system which was being worked on. Until then, they enjoyed the couple of minutes of floatation, while being connected to the seats by belt. The first thing they saw everyday was the strataflotsam. The items which had been dumped into the atmosphere by earlier generations. What would their generation do about this ecological waste area that remained floating above their heads? This was a question for the generations. For now it was the area that they had to guide through on the way to school.

Midnight at the OASIS

Midnight at the OASIS
Sunset in Huntersville

My little Emmie

ran to the bus on the first day of the last year of school. 2 buns on the side of her head. She kissed me and ran at dawn to the bus. She was starting the adventure of a lifetime. I would never see that little girl again, she was going to woman school!

My Father and I 1989

My Father and I 1989

to the tune of Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme


Are you going to Mary Immaculate?

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Remember me to the one who lived there,

He once was a true love of mine,

Tell him to buy me an acre of land,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Between the muddy Hudson in Jamaica Bay,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,

Tell him to sow in it seeds of pure cream,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And build Ice cream mountains and buildings of whipped cream,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,

Tell him to reap them with sickles of M&M’s,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And chew bubble gum and eat till we’re done,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine.

Tell him to run it off down the motor parkway,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

After your done 50 pushups

and jog down the West Side Highway,

Then he’ll be a true love of mine…

(Don’t wait for me today dad, The kids are sick again, My tummy’s bulging again, My heart is aching again, And now there’s no love there…)

He once was, a true love of mine….So, Girls, I do beg you don't miss your Daddy,Apricots, Chocolate cherries and Pie,You have one short chance to see him on this side, Go visit him and let your light shine.