Friday, December 16, 2016

What time I am afraid, I will trust in the Lord!

Yesterday, I had a complete delightful time with my little ones. We danced and frolicked, etc. We took a trip to the Discovery-Place! It is just the best.

I simply couldn't have designed a better place for a bunch of 2 year olds! We walked in and I said, this is the place for me. All of the children looked at me and knew that I was just about to do my "holy dance" or "pitch forward" as we "Boddens" affectionately call it.

I was taught in my spiritual disciplines class that God is exalted when we praise Him through the darkest nights. I danced to this song, when my heart was in pieces on the floor. I imagined yesterday, dancing with the little children and I really didn't believe that I could get up from there. And there I was dancing with the little ones. Thank you Sandy Patti and everybody that prayed for me in my darkest hours, that I could get up! Thanks to my "pitch forward" class and the grace of God.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Your mission, if you choose to accept it...

is to prepare a little fellow for the best and most challenging mission of his life. The mission of becoming a big brother was Braxton's promotion, yesterday.
I met baby Braxton at 3 months old and it was my pleasure to watch him become the delightful and cantankerous{sometimes} toddler that he has become. I took it for granted in my prayer time, yesterday, that a real milestone was coming for my dear little friend{and he has become a friend}.

He walked in the door at 6:10am and I felt led to say God is good to him, first thing. He responded, without a breath "How good?" I wasn't expecting his response at all. I was just throwing this little cliche' into his hearing with the hopes that he would catch it someday, by and by. I said "...too good to make a mistake." He seemed a bit out of sorts and we tried to get to the potty, as we were directed by his Dad to do. This became a delightful catch me if you can game which we laughed about. Nobody else would have been laughing at such a couple of laps around the daycare. I was. I was laughing that I couldn't catch him and still I would continue to try. I became a big sister so many times in my life that I cannot even count anymore. Real baby sisters and spiritual baby sisters are a wonderful blessing to me and so I should have noticed that the moment was coming for my Braxton and that this was my mission of the day. It still took me by suprise. He acted tired, once I caught him, so I put him on my lap, like a baby and began telling him how special it is to be a big brother. He wet 2 minutes after I had put him on the potty, which is not unlike him. I had a thick blankie under him, but the puddle was on the floor and not on me, Thank God.

We had an ordinary day. He regressed a bit and was weeping and crying, from the time that he heard the baby was born until naptime. I was sensitive to his pain, but firm that we had to keep to the schedule. I kept telling him that mommy was alright and this seemed to help him.
It reminded me of the day Daddy and Ju and I had to pull over in the car, because Ju had a fit that mommy wasn't coming back home. She thought the song on the radio meant that mommy wasn't coming back. Dad had to pull over, for her screaming. I remember thinking, why do they keep comforting her about this. They would've spanked me for such a performance? I love my baby sisters and I do enjoy somewhat the impossible mission of preparing big brothers for their role in a youngerling's life!

Saturday, November 26, 2016


Juicy, where's my goosy? In the fridge cold and loosy
Way down in the bottom of the fridge sat a wonderful bag of apples, a bag of carrots and a bag of celery that didn't make the cut for the Thanksgiving feast that we are chewing on throughout this long weekend. Nothing seems to last as long as I expect it to. I thought this was a month long volume of food that my girls and I had prepared. The lasagna is half gone, the macaroni and the turkey and roast are all whittling down into nothingness. Wow! These kids can eat.

This means it is juicing day, today. Elyse and I made it a part of our prayer meeting this morning to dust out the juicer and prepare the remaining raw veggies and fruit for juicing. Lord, make these vegetables a cleansing agent for all the intestines in our care, we pray, Amen. And off we went into juicing land.

OUt of the juicer came a wonderful brew of juice that is the sweetest juice we've made together. Usually there is ginger and spinach and bok choy to dull the sweetness of the many apples. Not this time.We toasted to our common bond of maternal/daughter love and we drank a half cup to test its goodness.
It was the best! Now to pawn it off on the unbelievers in our juicy cleanse. :)

Friday, November 25, 2016

Yesterday's moment's in the cook pot weren't a waste.

We enjoyed a wonderful meal at the Leader's house. Busily running to sit in front of the tv and talk about the wonder of time and how we have spent it so far. We had far too much food and too much sitting.

I was totally expecting to gather my chicks in the morning for somesort of aerobic activity. Gravity has set in. I talked myself out of that sentiment, saying that I spend far too much time outdoors with my babies and I don't need to pay my body anything for the gluttonous feast that I indulged in.

I spent the day putting a book together for my "apple-dumpling gang". I gathered prewriting sheets and covered them in plastic and tried to punch holes and use my machineless binding system. It was to no avail and it was a futile endeavor to comb those things into the plastic. I would have thrown the whole idea out of the window, in my anger. Patience prevailed and I got something together with tape and pinching. Not what I wanted, but it was, at least a monument of the level of effort that I put into the process. I do hope that the children will use it and I hope that I can figure out a better way and quicker way to put these items together for them.

My Ari motivated me by her perserverance trying to complete those Cc's. She just kept at it, over and over, with such little progress and so much determination that I had to complete my book, if only for her.

I also was working on some Christmas crafts, just for my own entertainment. This is a luxury that I hardly get to do. Christmas trees was the theme. I did some plain ones and I am working on a Christmas tree maze decoration. It is all in my mind and I am using a stencil to guide my completion. I got 85% done and took a break and now I can't find the exacto knife that I was using. {Isn't that always the way?}

Intermittently, I picked on some turkey and lasagna and rice and macaroni, etc. My breakfast was a delicious sandwich of turkey and cranberry on pumpernickle. I don't know why I don't cook like that every week to free myself up to do more crafting?

Who knew that an adult Thanksgiving, could be such fun?
Not to mention, catching up on my blogs and new photo above...

Thursday, November 24, 2016

If you are not watching the Macy's Day Parade right now...You should!

They have a 360 view of it on Youtube! I am so excited about it! Please watch while you cook!

Thankful for God's Faithfulness!

Saturday, November 5, 2016

A False alarm for the SAT. TODAY?

We woke early and I gathered all of my peptalk words and calming influence for, what we thought, was the day of Ethan's SAT. I always get sentimental on the SAT day. I always go back to my SAT moment and then flood in all of the stories of my experiences with the SAT's. Perhaps the compilation of our family stories is a book brewing. The years have stolen much of the details of many of the stories, so it won't be a book of mine; still, they flood my mind on the day that I am praying for my student in their SAT ambitions.

My husband and I always find some conflict in terms of preparation. Which is the most important thing to say and to bring and to do and to eat? We always discover something new that we differ on in our family traditions on such things. We are not from a test-taking emphasized culture. We have grown to become a family that lets the test come upon us, unawares. We can't say that this is unintentional, because this is the 5th time we have taken the test with our children. It is a tradition to forget, perhaps. We never mean it to be, it just is.

Today was no different. One thing we had forgotten or neglected or didn't really understand. {Only Heaven can discern the difference in our intentionality} I gave my peptalk, Ben gave his. We prayed and sat in the car and Ethan said, I haven't any identification. The steam from my head was filling the car and my silence was to keep from yelling. Ben never yells about such things. He preaches. And that he did. We had our family drill for Ethan's SAT test. It comes around on Dec. 3rd. We do hope we are able to acquire an identification card by then. Disappointment and sad unfulfilled expectations fill our hearts and our homes and we are trying to distract ourselves from just kicking the wall and expressing the interjections that fill our minds. Well, our eyes now look to the next attempt. I take back my peptalk!

Friday, October 21, 2016

I Have Found North Carolina to be a place that delights in "Blessing"

Psalm 109:17 As he loved cursing, so let it come unto him: as he delighted not in blessing, so let it be far from him. Is that us, Lord?
Bless Your Heart!
At my first introduction to the culture of NC, I felt repulsed. It was so different from the "live and let live" attitude of the NY state of mind.
Why do they always say that? IS it really genuine? Is it authentic?
The southern sweetness was everywhere. I felt like somebody had emptied the sugar bowl and given them sugar, instead of the snow that we have in NY. The Holy Spirit would hold me up as I held my nose and greeted the people, I would accidently meet. I can't deal with this was my emotional response. Are we really supposed to be that nice to people that we don't know? I think these people are a little extreme with their southern sweetness.
Now, I am sure that heaven allowed NY to be bereft of normal human courtesies so that the healing of our hearts could be documented in the history of our nation. We are a culture of pragmatists and the sweet verbal blessings that are part of our southern neighbors are icing that we feel we can do without. Are we Christians who "don't delight in blessing our neighbors, out loud"?
"Lord, Heal our every flaw"Please!

Friday, September 2, 2016

First week of Senior Year over. Thank God!

I get a call from the superintendent of school, which is not that unusual for the early parts of the year. This call, however was unusual. Mr. Jolley resigned today, he said.

The Principle of the year 2016 and a transfer from Northwest Cabarrus High, couldn't handle a week with Concord? I am shocked!

All the best to him in his future pursuits, we pray. May Mr. Jolley find a good place to serve and grow. God bless the faculty and friends of the Concord High School and the IB program especially.

Monday, August 29, 2016

First day of Senior Year for my Ethan

Good Morning, Senior year for Ethan. Glasses, proper paraphernalia in your bookbag and off you go. This is the adventure, we've been waiting for! You could've picked a pair of jeans without holes, but you didn't.
"go figure"

Monday, August 22, 2016

Setting our sights for home after dropping the baby girl...

I do believe that the highway to Chowan is 5 hours of riding in the sky.  The sky comes down to meet you.  I really didn't think Mrs. Day would be on cloud duty.   My surprise was great on the way there in that she was not just on cloud duty, but she was intent on entertaining me with delightful creatures doing and dancing all around us.  She has become quite the animator, in my years of getting to know her.  She was rejoicing with me and all of the mothers who know that they may never live to see an empty nest.   Each movement in that direction is a moment of progress.

I had to giggle a few times at the allusions to the Olympics that she made.  There were creatures diving and playing sports, running, etc.  Once we got to the campus, I lost track.  The last lap around the campus before we left her was spectacular.

You could see this beautiful storm brewing in the distance.  It looked as though you could see the first half of our trip's weather pattern.  The dark, dark cloud formation looked like a little praying child in a "mea culpa" stance on the knees and the big cloud was a huge welcoming face.  They got closer and closer to each other until the forehead of the little one became one with the forehead of the big face.  The silver lining was radiant and the angel slides were coming down from the formation at regular intervals.  I remember thinking, I do hope we are not going that way.  When we got to the highway and we were certainly going that way, I was grateful for the warning from heaven.  It was beautiful, even with my heart heavy from departing from my little chick.

Ordinarily, the cows have something to say about our departure trip.  This time it was an instructional visit about how to eat and how they keep their strength up by eating every half hour or so.  I didn't hear them for my talking.   Ev told me that part.

Well, before the tempest,  I looked to the right and there was a young man whose eyes seemed aware of the danger we were entering.  He looked more fearful than I am.  It was right to be fearful.  The wind kicked up and the water sounded like it wanted to tear the roof off of the car.   We just pulled over to the shoulder, until we could see again.  We went through lesser and lesser storms until the rain and the dark clouds were behind us.  A beautiful pink and orange sunlit sky was to our right.  That is the side that reminds me of "footloose", for some reason.  It was brighter than neon and a little dark cloud pattern looked like Santa and his sleigh was in front of the curtain of neon.   I hope that means someone got saved and heaven is rejoicing greatly.

Of course, we didn't have a camera!;)

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Tim Lehaye is gone!

Not one person, with whom I disagreed , touched me more deeply than Tim Lehaye. I met him at the Olive Branch bookstore, on Long Island, a long time ago. We prayed for another brother, who was suffering at that time. I was touched by his sensitivity and realness, for being a best-selling author.

Sunday and Monday I felt something very special was happening in the kingdom of God on earth. I was not so surprised to find out that we had lost a great spiritual General and strategist for Christ. I was saddened, that I had taken his gifts and books and blessings for granted. He was truly great.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.
Someone special went to Heaven, this week. 90 years on earth was like a blink of an eye compared to the impact of this man. Much writing, many souls learning about Jesus and commitment to Christ was inspired by his mighty pen. His pen was certainly mightier at felling principalities and powers than any sword could have been. I am grateful to have met him. I am grateful to have been on earth during his stay and I look forward to many long conversations after we spend a million or so years praising and thanking God for His mighty mercies. It will be wonderful to find out how he was able to write so much. He really helped us all to number our days, so that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

What a significant day it was this week. 7-21

I am working 6 days and it is summer, so the days and nights blend together sometimes. But, I am doing fine and jumping in and out of sniffles, colds and other childhood sicknesses that are constantly trying to get me down. I much prefer running from the sniffles, while I frolic with my flock of 10 or so 2 year olds. They are a wonderment to me! We got two new infants at the daycare and they engage me, staring into the future, as I do. My tablet is broken and Evvi says "don't say tablet in front of mom" Nothing is like an i-pad. Once you start on it, no other device will do. So I am somewhat tech-free, except for an occasional blog-post.

The North Carolina sky is a tourist attraction, in itself. It looks as though they alone have a close spot of the sky to heaven. Everyday the sky is swirling and painted with nearly perfect renditions of this or that. If you take your eyes off of your device for a moment to admire the beauty of the sky, you don't have to go anywhere to see the wonder of NC. My prayer-time was especially pertinent on "ABBYday". I am still reeling from the great enjoyment of God, that I am getting, looking into His word, daily. He knows our frame, scripture says. He considers the plight of those who are trusting in Him. I am still trusting Him. It is a quiet time for me. It is a relatively tech free time. Not talking on the phone or emailing. As soon as I get my device fixed, I will be back in the threads.

God is Good!

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Saturday, July 16, 2016

My friend, the bluejay came and posed on my bird feeder!

Mrs. Walker, she chirped. It is not a song, when you are getting reproved, by the birds. It was strong and a chirp, if not a cheep. There is no food in this bird feeder. I call this false advertisement. Here I am posing and decorating your yard with my beauty and the least you could do is fill the bird feeder. I have connections and the birds will not be back, if you are as inconsiderate as I think you are. We often call you mommy, but we have changed your name, in the light of your recent unthoughtful behaviors with regards to us.

I received the reproof and I will get to the store asap!

Monday, July 4, 2016

America the Beautiful, I see God darning us as He would a sock.

Matthew 5:34 But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne: Matthew 5:35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
God mend thine ev'ry flaw, Confirm thy soul in self-control, Thy liberty in law! the book LWF the chapter of Father sewing on a button makes me giggle to think about a distinguished man taking a needle to his clothes, for spite, somewhat. here is the link

Thursday, June 30, 2016

We had a good and significant soaking, yesterday.

It was needed. My plants out back were crying, because my number one waterer, has been off his game. {Could you get off the tablet for a minute and water my plants." I didn't hear you tell me that, mom!}It is a futile request!

I assess my cleaning efforts around and inside my house. Those carefully manicured white lines of the Wimbledon Courts make me bleach my floors and clean my kitchen counters better. It really doesn't work as well as I'd like. I always come out on the wrong side of clean, in my house; as long as 8 grown people trample my efforts and give me substandard work.

I got a chance to view the beautiful game of tennis that was played between Federer and Willis, yesterday and I didn't care about the lines. They really didn't play the game very close to the lines, as I saw it. Willis played in the greatest variety that I have seen in a long time. I missed, the dearly departed Bud Collins to navigate us through the variety of strokes that this young fellow had in his arsenal. Nothing is very effective against a wall like Federer, but for his first time on center court, he did very well and for one brief and failing moment it looked like he might have gotten a set from the old "geezer". I am always on Federer's side, but the beauty of two men swashbuckling and no blood spilt is my great delight. The victor trampled his opponent and went on, with hardly a bead of sweat. The rest of us were on our feet drenched for our part in the struggle. We are not in such great shape and my spring cleaning is in worse shape than that!

By the way, We got a super-duper rainbow, after the downpour!
photos to follow

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Friends and Family! We Hold these truths to be self evident...? Maybe not self evident

Discussing the effects of friendship on your life and faith
Until I listened to "Hamilton" last week, I really didn't think about the age of the founding fathers, during the Revolutionary War. I didn't see their youthful zeal and friendship that carved a bond that wouldn't be easily stopped. I am blaming that young great writer for my discovery of this. I have poured over documents by Thomas Payne and others, during my Revolutionary War instructions to my children. We read Ben Franklin's Autobiography, one time on a whim {I don't think that he was ever young or old for that matter:)}. We discussed the formation of this great nation, as Homeschoolers, ad-infinitum. Were they friends? That really didn't come to my mind as a question. They were a conquering force and they accomplished their goal. That was all I cared about. They invoked the name of Christ and God, in much of their whittling out of comradery, a great and growing nation.

Miranda shook me to think of the reality of what was the fuel of their passions, on the positive side. Words and relationships were a large part, as well as a common foe, of the development of their unity. Who trusted whom? How did they come to decide that fighting was the way to deliverance from their sense of oppression? Friendship, words between friends forged a bond that is still spinning through the universe of unified ideas, for good or for ill.

The turning of their common passions upon one goal had given them amazing success. It was their right use of words to provoke one-another to a common goal that grew the seed of thought into the tree of a nation. After the revolution, when the dust began to settle, their real and deepseeded differences began to surface. Are they still friends, who watched comerades die for the causes that they espoused? It is hard to live on after that. That was shown and acted out in the play, as I listened to the soundtrack. Regret is a hasty and nasty aftermath of any war. Perhaps the losses after the war were an inevitable part of the process. But I think today of the importance that our system of government continue to grow into a system that tries to grow unity and not exacerbate conflicts. Let us take this cogent and gripping, youthful look at the founding of America to find the unity that makes us Americans; which is so beautifully expressed in the colorful array of actors on the stage. We are still one country and we are no longer one color.

It could have been the story of Crispus Attucks, but it would have been a very short play, then. It was the story of Alexander, told in living color of the common composition of our present state. We are still as crazy about America, after all these years. I hope that this story will live in the history of America as more than a passing fancy. The passion that makes a bunch of colorful rappers take on the story of Alexander Hamilton is a monument to the unity and love that we still enjoy. Thank you God, may it ever be, that whatever color and culture we are, we can embrace Hamilton as our father and strive to better the world on account of it.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

I became a big sister 53 years ago yesterday.

I am so grateful for her kind acceptance of me as her sister. I am also grateful for her dance that has cheered me from day one. She was born with a happy dance that cheers us all. I love you Ju!

Monday, May 30, 2016

"My Shot"---What a beautiful way to spend Memorial Day! Looking at the "Crosses and Switchblades" that Preceded us!

I spent the morning cleaning and listening to "Hamilton" by Lin-Manuel Miranda. I am in awe!

I am empowered and refreshed by the youthful expression of history. It was painfully pungent. It was a strong mirror to my pride and my American Spirit. How much we all have to learn from these young people's depiction of the construction of our American Union? The power of the empathy and raw reality they exude. It seemed to me that God allowed rap music to be created, just so that this musical would be expressed. I love history and I am not a fan of rap music as a genre, but I could never imagine a better expressive venue for this story.

That young man is a master of language and a master of history, but best of all; he sewed up my soul and let me go on, after having laid it bare all over the floor in grief. I am undone!

Don't listen to the whole thing in one sitting. It is too deep. Save a piece for your proudest moments each month. Listen a little at a time and pray for the healing and growth of our nation as you do so. This will be an exercise in "beating our swords into plowshears". If you would pray through it.

With love, "Your Obedient Servant"

Jayne Walker

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Are We Still going up: in America?

To my budding African American children and grown people!

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Introducing the Associate in Arts--Enoch Walker!

Are you graduating today, Enoch? Yes Mom, I am. Okay, lets go then.
He is so unassuming that we almost missed it. Not this time, we didn't! It was the day after a torrential downpour, which is kind of rare these days. We were spared the April showers that we were due and all of it seemed to come in one day. Two hours of buckets of water celebrated that my son was graduating with his associates in Arts an impossibility in our financial condition. He did it and didn't take out any loans. We celebrated with fire works and pizza in the backyard! Halleluia, what a Savior! Thank you Jesus!

Title- The Studious One!

Title-  The Studious One!
artwork by Elyse

Of biscuits and syrup

Of biscuits and syrup
tasty treats

Happy Saturday!

Happy Saturday!
a day at the Raptor Center.

Widdle Emmie in outer space school

Emmie jumped on the bus and off it flew out into the atmosphere. There was a set of clouds with turbulence right above the house and it took a few minutes for my Emmie to buckle her seatbelt. They hit the bump hard and it knocked my Emmie out of her seat and she bumped her head. The video camera came on and the monitor looked through and stated, Ms. Emmie, where are you? You are not in your seat. Where are you? I am alright I fell because I hadn’t buckled correctly. Well jump up Emmie we have a long way to go and you have to be buckled there is entirely too much turbulence in the stratosphere for you to unbuckle now. As soon as we are through this weather system there will be straight sailing but right now you must buckle. Emmie scrambled into the seat with intensity and purpose now. She watched every cloud pass her window and her nose was pressed to the window trying to see the top of the house as it drifted slowly out of sight. Soon they were not only out of sight of the house, the sun came out brightly and just as quickly they were putting on the atmospherical breathing apparatus and the outerspherical lights. The ABA and the OL. These precautions were to make them appear to be satellites to the radar as they were out in the ionosphere. Emmie knew all about this now. She had gone to the orientation and had a good breakfast and it took them 20 minutes for her to get out past the atmospherical pull and to feel the zero gravity. It would be 15 minutes before the gravity simulators would take effect, a glitch in the system which was being worked on. Until then, they enjoyed the couple of minutes of floatation, while being connected to the seats by belt. The first thing they saw everyday was the strataflotsam. The items which had been dumped into the atmosphere by earlier generations. What would their generation do about this ecological waste area that remained floating above their heads? This was a question for the generations. For now it was the area that they had to guide through on the way to school.

Midnight at the OASIS

Midnight at the OASIS
Sunset in Huntersville

My little Emmie

ran to the bus on the first day of the last year of school. 2 buns on the side of her head. She kissed me and ran at dawn to the bus. She was starting the adventure of a lifetime. I would never see that little girl again, she was going to woman school!

My Father and I 1989

My Father and I 1989

to the tune of Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme


Are you going to Mary Immaculate?

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Remember me to the one who lived there,

He once was a true love of mine,

Tell him to buy me an acre of land,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Between the muddy Hudson in Jamaica Bay,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,

Tell him to sow in it seeds of pure cream,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And build Ice cream mountains and buildings of whipped cream,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,

Tell him to reap them with sickles of M&M’s,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And chew bubble gum and eat till we’re done,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine.

Tell him to run it off down the motor parkway,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

After your done 50 pushups

and jog down the West Side Highway,

Then he’ll be a true love of mine…

(Don’t wait for me today dad, The kids are sick again, My tummy’s bulging again, My heart is aching again, And now there’s no love there…)

He once was, a true love of mine….So, Girls, I do beg you don't miss your Daddy,Apricots, Chocolate cherries and Pie,You have one short chance to see him on this side, Go visit him and let your light shine.