Strawberries and cream for breakfast, My sister Julia, My friends Paulette and Brenda and a hope that my dearest friend Pam would make it, though nine months into her first pregnancy would prove to keep her from it. Darling girl Karla Gail stepped in at the last moment and played a beautiful junior bridesmaid for my great day. We took pictures and laughed like no other day that I could remember. There was a bubble around us, that seemed unlikely for the grief cloud that was hanging.
Grandma told us to go on, without her. Grandma wanted this for me, more than I did. If he is a faithful man, that is what I want for you. She was the boss of the hour. She had bought the dress, since she couldn't have made it, etc. We sat and planned the photo shoot moments, she and Aunt Lorraine and me. I had forgotten until I saw Aunt Lorraine fulfilling everything that Grandma told her to do. Then the tears started. She missed it! Or did she? She was certainly there for every moment of it! Her spirit was keeping the levity in a moment that I would never forget. Auntie and Gram and me had known why it had to go on! She made me know that she was in on the heavenly occasion in a way that couldn't be repeated or erased.
Pastor Tom May stood between the bickering factions of Protestants and Catholics in grief, excellently. He represented truth and Doctrine, which was our common marital desire. Children who might grow up to know what they believe and live in the light of their faith. We thought that was what we wanted and we talked about it all the time. They will not be deceived, we hoped. They will know what God's Word says and not be ignorant Christians, we committed.
Grandma's hope was love and fidelity, something that had eluded her for her life. God comforted her through the preparation of this wedding of another eldest child, as she had been. Ma was eldest and she was eldest and she taught me that I should speak up for myself. Not my strong suit. Not a habit of mine. Whatever, Gram, I usually took her words for granted as the complainings of not having gotten her way. I hope that she was able to attain unto the heavenly home through the miracle of repentance, which is available, even when the church casts you out because of your lifestyle. Heaven is the ultimate reparation of damages that men can do to the soul of a woman. Jesus welcomes us, when men have their way and cast us aside. He was the God of Hagar. He was the God of Sarah.Repentance is available to all for the cleansing of our sins. I was able to forget, because Aunt Jackie had given us a respite. A happy journey had begun! I did! He did, and here we are 35 years and many children later!
