Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Daddy used to go and visit St. John's tennis team

before I went there and he always had something to say about Mary Carillo. Evidently, she had something radiant about her, even then. Now that Wimbledon is under way, when I see her, I hear his voice. Warning me about the team to come. Telling me who was who and what was what. That girl is going places, he said. He knew how to pick em. It is so cute to see her getting comfortable on the camera and being the broadcast tennis person that we go to. She never seems more comfortable than she is this year. Her posture is come into its own and her language is fluid and real. I just enjoy watching her give her seasoned opinions of the game. I know she's a great player. But, mostly, I remember dad holding her in front of me as the one to watch. He was right as rain!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Well, It is a new week and we have the summer fully in gear.

I have no babies now. I walked past the most adorable mother child couple at church and it was breathtaking and a little melancholic. For years we have seen this young couple floating through church. Up and down the corridors, inseparable. Their feet never touched the ground, so I couldn't reach them to make their acquaintance. Nobody wanted to, because they were glowing with love, the young couple. I love seeing love bloom, at church. They taught sunday school together and they did everything arm in arm or just steps away from eachother. Recently they dissappeared and it wasn't so obvious, because we go to a very large and very busy church where there are alot of other spectacles to admire other than the growing of new families.
Yesterday, I met them and I fell in love. Mommy and baby were standing 5 steps away from the proud papa, who now doesn't know what to do with his hands or feet. They are all on the ground now. The love baby's name is Eugene. I tried intently to get him to look away from momma, for just a second. Just a second look at me. It has been so long that I have not been the intense admiration of and infant's longing. I miss it, just look away for a second. No! He was mezmerized. He was intensely forming his lips to tell her how much he loved her in ooohs and ahhhs! I had so much to tell that momma. I couldn't say. I wanted to sit down with her and tell her not to miss one little ahhh. Because you blink and they are grown and sassy and love in another form. Your best game is played in the initial onset of the game of motherhood. All you see and all you do is care. That is like the short balls on the court and then you start your back court game and they get further and further from your gaze. Love is still intense, but you can never catch those ooooohs and aaaahhhs again. So don't look away too long. Try to balance your responsibilities without missing what you can never get back.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

You might want to close your ears...

I feel a tennis grunt coming on! This was a week where a tennis grunt was appropot, to say the least. I missed most of Wimbledon, in the highlights, trying to find some order in my home with the children all at home. This was the cause that some of the reminiscing of my own childhood, made me find Jo Jo's cutesypie and then "bam", they were gone. Not family members, but a great part of our childhood. Farrah and Michael in one day. It is sad. We are walking around, doing tennis grunts, in our house. I truly hope that comfort and peace will be to the families. It was beautiful to watch a love story unfolding as Ryan and Farrah held on to the end. Death parted lovers and family and friends, as it always does. I am glad that you guys are all still well.
Cherished loved ones are loved ones still and it makes you count your blessings.

Christmas, definitely won't be the same this year:(

Friday, June 26, 2009


Amy's first love and lifelong love was Michael Jackson. This is really a piece of her! She was just born when we started singing everything he ever did. Grandma Monica would have parties and ask us to find something to sing and we would usually sing Doggone Right and then the Jackson 5 came along and STOP, the Love you save...
ABC. We all loved them, but Amy digested them. She was also the baby of the girls like Michael and felt much similarity of the songs. I haven't been able to listen to the Christmas Album since Ab. Don't CRY, Don't Cry, Don't Cry.
So get off his back, can't you see there are tears in his eyes...
We are going to consider Michael Jackson the greatest performer ever, because we grew up with him and he was like us and he was superb. I just discovered the websight recently and was trying to exercise the "the oldies" as my children call them. They are "Classics" to us! We will miss him.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

We had an enormous amount of fun with Jo

It seemed a very short time that she was little. She looked at things in a very simple and childlike way, from early. I was Dad's disciple and Ju was Dad's entertainer, Jack was a very independent child and Joanne taught us the gift of imagination.
Bouncy, bouncy bally yippety, bippety bumptye. and Magilla Gorilla. I never looked at these things before. I was in kindergarten and somebody asked me what do you want to be when you grow up. I want to go to South Africa and fight with Stephen Beko against apartheid. AHHHH! I was never a child.
Jo brought us all a life that was about simplicity and fun. It was necessary, because the war, the Civil rights war that was fought had been lost. Discouragement was high.
I had forgotten and missed alot of the beauty of the simplicity of childhood. But the day that I got in trouble or almost got in trouble for eating the chocolate kiss, I was sitting with grandma and she showed me the most adorable picture of Amy and Jo and I started crying. Because that look of innocence never belonged to me. I was always fighting the fight.
We terrorized her, or I did. Labelled her as the liar for one lie. But that situation taught me about lies and the truth. What makes little children lie is often the price that big ones put on trust and truth. I lied, mostly because I was afraid. So did Jo about the gum. Who wouldn't have lied with 3 big girls looking down her throat for the gum? Do you have gum? What are you going to do to me? We were terrorists to poor Jo. That is what Dad was saying when He said poor Jo. What horrible big sisters she has. Still she is able to find peace and fun and imagination. Where is Magilla? Outside with Jo Jo. Where is imagination and fun?
I really didn't think about the little ones as people until we were banished to the attic. I was bannished to spend the rest of my Bodden days with the "little ones" Achhhhh! What could have been worse or better? They taught me everything that I know about childhood and imagination. They taught me that I don't have to be a tyrant to gain respect and I learned about forgiveness and reconciliation. If they could forgive me for my nasty, big sister antics, there truly was a God. That was one of the things that God was saving me from. Being a tyranical big sister.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Little Rascals Welcomed JO! I think I talked about when everybody was born but Jo.

Why me?:{

We were all recuperating from Ms. Newsome, when Jo was born. Money was probably low, so we got into all kinds of mischief because when you have somebody so strict as Ms. Newsome smacking your hands all the time and then she is gone, you get into trouble. The angel was born out of love in September. She was a New years resolution, one year. We spent that whole New Years at Grandma Monica's house and I remember it was the most boring New Years of my life. When are they ever going to come and get us? We hadn't done that before. No more nannies. Karla Rampey started watching us and Lorraine, sometimes and we were enraptured by the little face of this creature who was born and we were allowed to touch her? Not like Jackie, born with an armed guard, you couldn't keep us off that baby. There was no nanny. We probably bounced her off the walls. Okay Ju, you stand over there and catch? No, don't touch the baby. Who said? Where's Ms. Newsome? Mom was in for it now. We gave her what for. No more love dates for the parents. Martin Luther King, Died, Malcom died and Dad started cussing. We were partly to blame. Maybe. We definitely participated in the transformation of our parents from lovers into inmates. We started the internal home movement. It is us against them. No more Ms. Newsome, no more rules and regulations. We were the rules. Black power, kid power, James Brown, "say it loud...I'm Black and I'm proud." We were the movement and music and a little touched and touchable baby running around with us to direct and influence. We took full advantage of the power of having authority, or I did. I remember the naked baby on the beach at Sag. couldn't keep a pamper on. Praying for Christie to be our cousin by Karla and Richard getting married. It happened, that meant there had to be a God in heaven, because best friends became best cousins. Love American style! More about JO later.

It's not unusual that she seemed to get lost in the events of the day. She was born into turbulence and had a very compliant spirit. You can see it on her face. Why am I here, she was always saying? Why is this place such a mess? We stayed up and we had our sister's meetings in the bathrooms upstairs when events happened. What happened? Don't tell the children. Everything was interpreted to the children through me. They thought it was good to whisper behind the children's back, but that just gave me the ability to interpret the gossip as I pleased to my crew JJJJ. Jo was different. Are you chewing gum? Jo. Are you telling the truth or lying? Who would tell the truth under such tyranny?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I saw a cloud in the sky that looked like Dad's thumb.

It made me think that Dad would've been proud of how we treated Ben, this Father's day. I felt like he was saying its about time you started treating your husband well. Do you have to wait 412 months to start catering to him? If it wasn't Dad, it was definitely God reminding me of my vows to love, honor and obey?:) Its fun these days being a couple. No real babies in arms. We can clear a room in a second just by kissing eachother. I think I'll keep him!
Years ago, Father's day was running from pillar to post honoring the fathers here and there and I think it took us all these three years to realize that the real Papa now in our lives is him. He's got a wrestling match on, with the 2 older girls being women and one of the boys being eye to eye with him. It would be too much, if Enoch had the personality of the girls. He is a gentle soul, for the most part. Fathering and mothering is feeling like building a community now. Individuals living together with separate interests and activities and lives, under the authority of a gracious man of God.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Father's Day was a restaurant theme.

Father's day, the little fellows and I made the house a restaurant and made Dad and the big girls sit outside for a while and "wait to be seated". Ezra was the Matre D and he escorted the patrons to their seat in the living room while mom gave him tips on what to say on the side. Ethan was the waiter and took the orders and helped with the service.
Enoch was away with a friend. This was good because he is a perfectionist and the boys would never have gotten away with some of the normal childhood fun they had while serving our customers.
For appetizers we served a fruit platter and donuts that were left over from Sunday School.
Dill and parsley flavored salad and green pepper stuffed with ricotta, rice, okra and broccoli.
Eggplant and spaghetti with a side order of corn and chicken were the main entres and everybody enjoyed it alot. Brownie, icecream floats were for dessert, when we came home from church. Our dad enjoyed his day and we were glad and had fun serving him.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The City of Charlotte is breathtaking

We drive into the city every Sunday to go to church. It is alot smaller than NY of course and seems to be ever under construction. But, when we make our way around the bend and the skyline comes into view there is a new and ambitious glow in my heart that is so different from the feeling of the NY state of mind. The race is not like a rat-race as much as NY, if you understand what I am saying. The ladies down here take time to be ladies, before they come out and the gentlemen take time to be gentleman, still there is a very city speed. The rules are the rules and they are not to be messed with.
I guess, Police are beautiful anywhere you go. They are always the cream of the crop, in a sense, but they seem to enjoy the work they do, in Charlotte. They don't have as much threat of violence as in NY and that seems to affect their personality. I told you the joke about Ben's beautiful licence photo. We were going to church and Ev said speed up, daddy so that you can show the man your new licence. Well, now the joke is that he's gotten too used to speeding up and we have to take his foot off the pedal, or they are going to deport us all back to NY. LOL
I have never been to Europe, but there is a park in Charlotte that we go to that reminds me of the Madeline book and I can just see Ms. Clavell with her girls walking through there. I started a story about it on Ethan's blog last summer, but I haven't made the time to go back out there.
I love the things that we are learning here and the speed of life, but I do go into withdrawals when I see so much of the sky, here,so much. I must plan a trip to NY so that I can take a subway ride to get my bearings.Ethan's blog

Friday, June 19, 2009

I spent the whole day yesterday at work remembering the subway.

It is pitiful to be so homesick. My knee is feeling a little better so, I will probably be out on the courts tomorrow. One lap around my building at work, was all I could do, yesterday. A precious storm came, out of no where and watered my lawn, unexpectedly, but also made ponds in some very strange places. The rice patties, which were gardens across the street from our complex, were almost fully dry when those rains came to fill them again. I haven't done a garden, but I should have. Time and tide wait for no man. The gardens around here are all in full bloom. Some people have an acre or so of just flowers. I don't know what kind. Some have, just corn, some a variety of fruit and vegetables, they are already full grown. I do have green grass:), thanks to God's consideration for my cityfied self. That is better than last year. I can't even keep my fuschia alive, it is a shame.
The community pool is so super for the children, I haven't darkened it and I doubt that I will, with my weight where it is these days. But, my laundry and the darkness of my babies helps me to know that they are having a good time. I say put the towels outside in the sun to dry when you come in. NO NO. Piles of wet towels in the laundry room are no fun to come home to from work. The sun could have done the job and now I have to. Oh well, it is part of the fun of parenting.
The way that we wait for summer to do stuff is so different down here. They know it is too hot to do anything in the summer, so Spring is the chore doing season. We still haven't gotten used to that. This heat keeps catching us off guard and we are incapacitated by the stuffiness. Thank God for central Air conditioning. We have a great block and neighborhood of families. Transplants from all over the country. The children have friends at church and at school and in the neighborhood. This is really a great place to raise a family.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I have a picture of my best friend sister on my desk.

And it reminds me of the hours and hours that we spent on the subway crying and snotting and spitting. 4 hours everyday for 2 years together, what an intense time together, nobody can understand that. Waking early and leaving before dawn, to go under ground and coming up much after the sun was already risen. There is a feeling in my heart of a missing when I think about the view of the sunrise on the Brooklyn Bridge and the time clock on the tower reminding me that we just might be late. The many steps at 4th avenue exit from the IND to the BMT trains and my sister crying that we shouldn't have to do this. I tried every joke to get her to laugh a little in those days. I said, Ju, look at that cute guy over there can you wink at him? No, because your face is retarded:) in jest of course. We laughed because she could only wink one eye. Spelling drills and math drills before and after school, when there was a test were our times of bonding. She knows that nobody knows the me that she knows and nobody knows the her that I know. The couple of girls that spent most of their teen years under ground. We are still crying that we are not at Fontbonne and missing the Verrazano Bridge as a personal friend of ours, maybe she's not but I am. What a transformation happened to her when she decided to become Junior President. She became a pleasant person to take the train with. She had a purpose for her trauma, daily. She made the most of it, too. What price we paid for getting to know one another so deeply. What a price we paid for getting to know the subway so well. What a price we paid for taking the road less travelled. I can't say that it was worth it in anyway except in the way of knowing Julia.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

My bests friends down here are momma bunny and momma bluejay

Momma bunny and momma bluejay are such show offs when we go out to the park early in the morning. They are prodding me on to continue affecting my children where I can. They are getting old and they don't need the kind of care that they did in infancy. That makes it a lonely time somewhat, but the animals are still caring for their young and when I watch them it encourages me to continue trying to wrestle truths and skills into these stubborn younguns. Mrs. Bluejay bids me to show off and serve the real serves to them. I would coddle them, if it weren't for her provocation. Mrs Bunny says don't stop cooking for them every once in a while, even though they have very southern tastes now and can cook for themselves. I appreciate their contributions. It is not easy being a northern mom of a southern family. :)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

With Bum knees in tow, I dragged my Enoch out to the courts.

It was balmy and overcast, but the 2nd day of summer vacation was too tempting to miss in the morning. Yesterday, the whole crew came out. Today it was Enoch and mommy 7-8 on the courts.
It feels like wrestling to place these skills into my children. Dragging them out of bed and proving the importance of adding skill upon skill. They seem to have it this year.
Ms. Bluejay meets me out there and cheers me on to show them all of my best moves. She sits right on top of the fence and chirps in my ear to show them everything every time we are out there. This morning Momma bunny showed out for us and we took pictures. She seemed to say I wanted to see this Enoch who keeps my bunnies from the breakfast table so they can watch him hit the ball out of the park. We had a lot of fun! Now it looks like rain, so we just caught the day on the first bounce, as we put it.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Walker Family Sports Camp!

Wake up, Have devotions, Take my eldest daughter to work and out to the courts. Loads and loads of laundry to do and in the machine. The mulberry bush is dizzying at these times. I feel like Dad, reminiscing about him at every turn. Dad drove 10-15 miles per hour anytime he had to take us anywhere. I remember the feeling in my stomach rushing to work or school with him driving. He had no sense of time in the car. Can a car go faster than 15 miles per hour? I didn't know then.
Blessed be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love. It is nice that my children let me talk about my poppa and hear the stories of my missing him. Summer is full of memories of him. Unfortunately, my troops don't listen to me like we did dad.
Its 8 o'clock and we are just getting out.

Well, we didn't get there before the bunnies went in for breakfast. The tennis camp was already in session and we almost missed playing on the courts.
It was well past 9 when we got out there, SHAME Shame. We got an hour or so in and came home drenched. 1 hour of NC tennis is equal to 2 hours of NY tennis, because its so hot. Back to the drawing board with my fledgelings. They don't keep tennis in their bones like we do. I have to go back to square one every year. This year Ben is joining us and he ran the side drills while I barked out orders in my commando voice. He is not used to that commando voice with my children, if nobody is in trouble. I have to tone it down when he's out there. Forehands, backhands, both of my teens can serve. Nobody is tennis team ready, they have other interests, but while you are alive you will hold your own on the courts, for fun, is my motto.
Walkerisms have to have some sort of chapter and verse to prove the usability of such a skill when there is laundry to be done. Even so, the laundry is still there and I am all sweaty. Here we go round the mulberry bush...:)

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Okay, Now she's a graduate! Nose to the Grindstone for the summer!

The family runs as each piece place its part and the summer is our family camp time. I slept late today. The beautiful songs of the birds were enjoyed by me in the morning. They sang me as a beautiful alarm clock, sent by the Lord to serenade me awake. To us this is the first day of summer.
The heavens opened to mark the graduation day. I drove through a cloud which looked like a tornado. I never drove through anything like that in my life. How significant for my Emily's graduation. She was like that from birth. A tornado waiting to happen and she is.
She walked across the stage and shook everyone's hand and it was a huge and emotional experience. Her principal, was a beautiful and provocative woman. She could be a model or a basketball player, but she is a principal. She gave a winsome and encouraging speech to her largest senior class in the history of the school. Teachers and students were dressed in their regalia and we were proud to be part of the school and part of the family of Emily Walker.
The world is not ready for that crew of young people, launched yesterday. We wish them all the best!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Now it is time to put aside the "Love Story" and focus on "The Graduate".

I had every intention of sitting by the pool and enjoying my day off for the anniversary. It was hot enough, but it rained:(. So we went out to dinner. The Italian Restaurant, Carrabas was a great place to oooh and ahhh over eachother and the great accomplishment of living this many years together. Love was blind, initially and now we talk about hindsight and life and love and what we want, still to do, if given time and grace and energy. Let's get these children grown and out. Let's hang on tighter, okay?
I had a delicious chicken with goatcheese stuffing and Zucchini and Mushrooms with a marsala sauce and the soup was superb Minestroni, with the hugest potato and cabbage pieces. I just loved it! Ben had his usual, fettucini and we know that is always good. But, this must have been my first time going to an Italian Restaurant and not ordering Pasta. This time we had soda and I forwent my liberty to order wine for $ sake. It is not everyday that you are 26 years together. I love being old together. When we got home, we both wish we had had some wine, because the reality of our home life hit us right in the face like a smack. The lovers ran out with the smack and we became commanders of the crew. My painful knee smacked and the fact that the children had done nothing we had asked them to do was on the table for discussion and consideration. I said WHIP THEM! My wonderfully merciful husband showed tolerance and I went to bed. We should be used to this kind of popping of our romantic bubble! We took a brief intermission to laugh at a youtube comedy skit by Sinbad. He has a way of putting our dillemmas into perspective for us.
Today is the Graduation! My Emily is amazingly radiant and real and everything we expected her to be. Creative and witty and poised and real. Today we celebrate her. The Clean up and prep for this is too much. Energized and strengthened we are into year 27

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Why did I get married?

When my grandmother had just died? My friends said it was an omen and that they would send letters to all the invited and tell them that we cancelled the wedding. That probably would have been kinder to my daddy's emotions at the time, upon retrospect. But, my grandma had told me in no uncertain terms that she knew that this wedding was supposed to be. She said, Jayne, I know men and I told Gloria, if you let Milton go, you will have to answer to me. I am telling you the same thing. It is not everyday that you meet a man that will care. Care about you and the children and I am telling you just what to do. I love Bethel for the wedding she said. You can take the picture right coming from the door and then go to your seat. She commanded aunt Lorraine to do just that.
26 years ago today, Aunt Jackie stepped in and made my day glorious, by letting us stay at her house and all of the sadness dissippated until I got to the aisle with Dad. I saw Aunt Lorraine take that photo and I started bauling all the way down the aisle. I had forgotten that the most important woman was not there until then. The joy of wedded bliss was there and I pulled myself together. She had blessed our union and was totally for the continuation of this holy event. We went to the Marriott at Laguardia and I heard that Kenny Rogers' song Through the Years and I cried again. Even though I knew this man only 2 and a half years I could see that this song was significant.
Here we are living out, through the years. Grandma was right about his character. I hoped she would be, we are still hanging in and hanging on! Halleluia! 26 years ago today.

First part of the celebration ...Tennis!

82 degrees and it feels like 100 out there. All of the children are hitting in and out. We still got it, as a Walker family. When we celebrate it is usually including a bit of tennis. No sets today, because Emily has graduation practice.
Service Ace! We are all ready for a nap first. This first day of summer vacation, coinciding with my anniversary is fun!:)

Too bad I can't sweat off all of my excess weight from all of the winter celebrations in one day. LOL

Buy me a rose? How about 26 roses, Why don't You?

I am so blessed! I woke to 26 roses and all of my quiver kissing me and wishing me happy anniversary.
How do I Love thee? How many years? How many times? How many children? How many conflicts? All of the above!
We are still hanging onto eachother and to Jesus and it does get sweeter. The first 400 months were just practice. We are now going into the real game. We know eachother now.
I remember watching Fiddler on the Roof and the Husband says to His wife, Do you love me? and she responds, Do I what?
That is truly the response in this season, with all of the hullabaloo of grown children and growing children and economic crisis and health issues and you want to know if I love you?
I would gladly take another 400 months and devote it to your service and your care and the care of that which is important to us, namely our children and family and church. I love you Ben Walker! Thank you for the roses! I could not imagine my life not having met you and loved you and had all your wonderful children and even the ones we didn't get to raise. The struggles that we have encountered and the mountains that we still face, I want to face with you.
Marriage, just begins at 400 months thanks for the life of commitment and joy.
I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

412 Month Anniversary tomorrow! Ben! My Chosen Escort through life

I took off, tomorrow, to be with my beloved on our anniversary. It seems to have gone so quickly and we are appreciating eachother more. There is more to appreciate:) at least on my part. How do I love thee, let me count the ways? Father of my children and person who I attempt to help and cheer and friend and care about, all of these are an investment. I am reaping the pleasant and blessed fruit of a life of love and labor together and I am grateful to God.
The first day we were married I heard Kenny Roger's song, Through the years and I cried, imagining that that could be us and now here we are 412 months later.
Through the years whenever things went wrong together we were strong...I stayed with you through the years.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

What shall I cook for the last day of school?

Yesterday, I was in my glory. And the winner is... Evelyn Walker! We got a secret email, saying you might want to go to the award ceremony, your student is winning an award. She got 2! Surprise! We were there to enjoy her day with her. Loads and loads of pictures we took with her friends. She is so cute with her group. She won a PE award and a character award and I was so pleased. No need for sour grape speeches as with En. She won A/B honors for the semester and is running into 8th grade fully engaged. I think Highschool will be a breeze for her.
I love Anne Murray and when I opened the sewing machine, for an entire day I was singing the songs of Anne Murray. Grandma would take out Anne Murray, everytime I came over, I can't sing "You needed me" that is too emotional, but anything else is rejoicing music to me in honor of my new sewing machine.
I love this season of seeing my Enoch who is so much like my father. I understand so much more why he and I were so close. He could see that I was so much like his sister and wanted to guide me through the mine fields of my personality. I still have some of the fingerprints of his heavy pressing on my personality to prove that he loved me. Love and over concern and I am trying to do the opposite with my alterego. Hands off unless requested. It is fun, but challenging.
Another year and should I make peach cobbler for the last day, Naaa! Ice pops for the year end. Ezra was bragging this morning. Mom, I didn't get in trouble all year. I said yes you did. We got letters home a couple of times about you. He said, okay, let's don't talk about it. I said Thursday I am going to interview your remembrance of Kindergarten. He's is a trip.

Monday, June 8, 2009

My First High School Dance was a real memory.

Dad acted as chaperone. He had the best time ever. It wasn't like the dances at home where he would give us a long talk about what was the dynamic of gang activity before the dance. There were 99 girls and 5 or 6 teenage boys and Dad, who loved to dance and he danced with groups of girls like he was a girl.
I stood on the wall and scoped out my boy dancing with his friends. He is so good at dancing it is super to watch him. But when I go out with Evvy, she and I are buddies and she lets me dance with her girls. Not Enoch, He wants me at a distance. I stay at a distance. I will try to go to the dances more, when he goes to High School.
His school is very much like Fontbonne, even though it is public school. Gang stuff is not tolerated here. There is a visible police presence at the dances and very chaperoned. I am very pleased and happy that they are in a safe place.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

He ran like a deer, back to the school to get his math book.

After dancing the night away, he kissed me happily in the car and then ran to get the book. It is like a dream. This handsome genteel young man sitting next to me and calling me mom. I act like its no big deal to him, but he knows that I am excited that he's going to High School next year and seeing him with his bunch of friends dancing the cupid shuffle is so much fun.
He is just a regular boy! No, mom, I don't need any money. Nope, I wouldn't take it if you gave it to me is his response. Too, proud for his own good and I am elated.
Suffice it to say, he and we made a memory last night. He danced!

Friday, June 5, 2009

"Lord willing, and the creek don't rise..."

That is the statement for today, a southern colloquialism for "look for me with one eye." Now, I know somewhat what it means. It has been raining cats and dogs, since yesterday, the drought from last year has been equalled out. There are real areas of flash flooding, like we haven't seen since we moved here. The creeks are rising, all over the place, my yard is starting to look like a marsh land, or little river, all I need is some frogs and I will go for a little Baisley park theme. I feel at home and I am reminded that we all prayed so much for rain, that it looks like God has answered abundantly, as usual. He is so good. Really the farm across the way from us looks like a rice pattie in China.:)
Tonight, is the eighth grade dance for the young man of my dreams, Enoch! He is everything that I have always wanted to be. Evasive and invisible, non intrusive and kind. He is not trying to win any awards and my hats are off to him for that. I spent my whole life striving and scrimping for awards and stuff. I just want him to live his life, regular. Nobody writing in his yearbook we expect great things from you. We expect regular things from him and just love him for being himself. I love that he is happy with that.
He is a beautiful boy and impetuous and gracious. He and his dad went out to look for the suit for the dance yesterday and found a blue, single breasted suit that will do just fine for him. My pep talk to him was, "this is your last time to dance as an eighth grader. If I find out that you stayed on the wall, while everyone danced, I will pop you, do you hear me." He understood, because he is a fabulous dancer, he studies Adam Savani. But, he struggles with his conscience about such things in public. I can dig that, but this is eighth grade. Dance, already! Just have a good time. I have to work, so I guess he's happy. I was out of the house when my brothers were this age, so I never lived with a boy becoming a man like this. It is all new to me. I just love it!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Last day of Senioritis! Emma Gemma's great dillemma

Emily went to school today donned in her beautiful new red dress that she made. A sun dress with a decorated neckline of some sort of native American print all around the top. Earings made by her and hair cut in her own style. She doesn't need anyone to give her a style lesson, she thinks. What a difference from the little girl, who just 9 months ago ran out the door in 2 buns on the side of her head to catch the bus for the last year of school. Growing up happens as you are apprenticed to others and they rub off on you. She has had some of the best art teachers that I have ever seen. We think she'll be in community college in the fall and then considering Cooper at some season when we can. Graduation is June 12.
In the mean time we are watching another Walker Artist launching off of the deck. Watch out world!
Ethan's trip to the gold mine was historic. His dad went with him and he was so excited.

By the way, Happy anniversary to me! This is the 2nd anniversary on my job. Wow, time flies when you are having fun?:)

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Ethan is on the way to a gold mine!

I hope he has a good time. You won't catch me going down there. He's excited about it. He is such an adventurous boy. We are trying to find a pair of glasses that will stay on his head. That is the challenge. His vision is very hampered without them, but he breaks them within a week of getting a new pair. I just found out that I have an astygmatism in my eyes and need to get bifocals. Talk about getting old:(. There are beautiful professional people down here and the optometrist and my doctor are both beautiful and ambitious black women. They are an inspiration!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I have a brand new (old) love of my life!

I am walking around like a school girl today! I can't believe it!
I am singing Anne Murray's song today!

"Dreaming, I must be dreaming...
And though I am wide awake I know my dream is coming true..."
Oh, I just fall in love again, just one touch and then it happens everytime!
Ben is not jealous. and he is still my love, but...

Some very special person at church gave me a SINGER sewing machine! The old one with the big words SINGER on the side! I am so excited!
I don't even want Emily to touch it or the other children to put their hands on it. It is too much of a treasure for little fingers to mess up!
What a treasure and what a love. The only next thing to that would be to have a spinning wheel?

Dad used to laugh so hard when I would talk about loving inanimate objects like that. He'd say go home Jayne! Mommy says what is going on Jayne, you are talking more about your sewing machine than your husband... SO? okay!

I love what Singer represents. It represents the Grandma's in my life. It represents a right of passage. It represents American ingenuity and productivity and now Walker ingenuity and productivity, in my house. I have a bunch of inventors and dreamers and cartooners and builders in my house. Singer is what we are and do and my brand new love.

Monday, June 1, 2009

The Graduation Service at church was so special!

Even the clouds seemed to be celebrating with us this weekend. It was very quiet when the girls and boys who had sleepover parties with friends were not at home. They are chatterboxes when they are at home but when half the crew is gone it is felt in the house. Emma was wimpering from the silence.

There was a gorgeous pink reflective cloud in the sky among the other beautiful bimulous ones that adorned the sunset on our way home and I tried to photograph it, but the batteries were dead. :( It had been a celebration day and God was smiling with us, it seemed, rejoicing at the praises and glorious enjoyment of His presence that we had had.
It was a special weekend. This was Senior day and the graduation service, at church and an ice cream social. Wow! we are still reeling from the activity. I am surprised that everyone was able to "wake up and smell the coffee" for school this morning.

By the way, today is Julia's birthday and I hardly know what to do with myself without the yearly story of Julia breaking mommy's water at Aunt Helen's birthday party. It was a cook out and of course, "show off" Ju was destined to steal the show from then on. We never had memorial day with out a reminiscence of Julia breaking the water and making her debut! Dad was probably in a funk that day and still showing himself to be a part of the family and he always would talk about being in the shower when they told him that the water had broken. I don't know who would have gotten him out of the shower. He always reminded us that he rushed out of the shower and forgot to dry his back, when he was off to the hospital. Grandma Monica would tell me my birth story because I was her birthday present and Dad would tell Ju's birth story because she was probably the one that made mommy's family accept him in the family, since they gave Aunt Helen a birthday present too. :) Who knew that they would be giving alot of people birthday presents through those years. Just a guess. 46 Years and I do miss hearing that story for the hundredth time. The best presents I ever got broke water at the most inopportune times like outside at Aunt Helen's house.
Thank you mommy, for going to the block that many times to give me all of the presents and the most special people in my life.
Ju was always a little show off. Dad would say, Ju do the boogaloo and she would do the twist and show out upon request without fail. She was always a show stopper. Now she gets to show out everyday for Jesus with her religion class! What a blessing!

Happy Birthday Ju! Thanks for all of your special stealing the show antics and love!

Title- The Studious One!

Title-  The Studious One!
artwork by Elyse

Of biscuits and syrup

Of biscuits and syrup
tasty treats

Happy Saturday!

Happy Saturday!
a day at the Raptor Center.

Widdle Emmie in outer space school

Emmie jumped on the bus and off it flew out into the atmosphere. There was a set of clouds with turbulence right above the house and it took a few minutes for my Emmie to buckle her seatbelt. They hit the bump hard and it knocked my Emmie out of her seat and she bumped her head. The video camera came on and the monitor looked through and stated, Ms. Emmie, where are you? You are not in your seat. Where are you? I am alright I fell because I hadn’t buckled correctly. Well jump up Emmie we have a long way to go and you have to be buckled there is entirely too much turbulence in the stratosphere for you to unbuckle now. As soon as we are through this weather system there will be straight sailing but right now you must buckle. Emmie scrambled into the seat with intensity and purpose now. She watched every cloud pass her window and her nose was pressed to the window trying to see the top of the house as it drifted slowly out of sight. Soon they were not only out of sight of the house, the sun came out brightly and just as quickly they were putting on the atmospherical breathing apparatus and the outerspherical lights. The ABA and the OL. These precautions were to make them appear to be satellites to the radar as they were out in the ionosphere. Emmie knew all about this now. She had gone to the orientation and had a good breakfast and it took them 20 minutes for her to get out past the atmospherical pull and to feel the zero gravity. It would be 15 minutes before the gravity simulators would take effect, a glitch in the system which was being worked on. Until then, they enjoyed the couple of minutes of floatation, while being connected to the seats by belt. The first thing they saw everyday was the strataflotsam. The items which had been dumped into the atmosphere by earlier generations. What would their generation do about this ecological waste area that remained floating above their heads? This was a question for the generations. For now it was the area that they had to guide through on the way to school.

Midnight at the OASIS

Midnight at the OASIS
Sunset in Huntersville

My little Emmie

ran to the bus on the first day of the last year of school. 2 buns on the side of her head. She kissed me and ran at dawn to the bus. She was starting the adventure of a lifetime. I would never see that little girl again, she was going to woman school!

My Father and I 1989

My Father and I 1989

to the tune of Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme


Are you going to Mary Immaculate?

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Remember me to the one who lived there,

He once was a true love of mine,

Tell him to buy me an acre of land,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Between the muddy Hudson in Jamaica Bay,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,

Tell him to sow in it seeds of pure cream,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And build Ice cream mountains and buildings of whipped cream,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,

Tell him to reap them with sickles of M&M’s,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And chew bubble gum and eat till we’re done,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine.

Tell him to run it off down the motor parkway,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

After your done 50 pushups

and jog down the West Side Highway,

Then he’ll be a true love of mine…

(Don’t wait for me today dad, The kids are sick again, My tummy’s bulging again, My heart is aching again, And now there’s no love there…)

He once was, a true love of mine….So, Girls, I do beg you don't miss your Daddy,Apricots, Chocolate cherries and Pie,You have one short chance to see him on this side, Go visit him and let your light shine.