Thursday, July 31, 2014

What, My Son?

It is the 31st of July! Proverbs is the meditation of the 31st for me... What if?Proverbs 31 and Genesis example of the fall are the criterion for allegiance with God or with the devil. Regard for human life and the desire to cheat defenseless women are the criterion for the allegiance with God or the devil? Jesus paid it all! We are in need of a Savior!

Monday, July 28, 2014

Thank God for the month of July!

The midyear message came in loud and clear from the quarterback and it was thundered through the corradors of forums that I have heard. Halleluia. Psalm 22 was the passion of our Savior and it bought certain blessings for us, said the visiting minister in Philadelphia. I was awestruck that these realities had eluded my mind for so long. It brewed in my spirit for this long. We cannot receive completely the blessings of Psalm 23 until we embrace the reality of the price Jesus paid in Psalm 22 on our behalf. These young people are really listening to God through those devices they are using, some of them at least. That was my first and prejudicial thought as I prayed the truths into my spirit. {I intend to go into further detail on the devotional blog about this} Suffice it to say, that once he had placed that seed into my spirit the truth was blossoming everywhere. Graduations and at the hospital with the dear nurses and doctors that attended to me there, etc. I couldn't get away from the reality of the truth that Jesus' having paid it all is continuing to purchase grace and provision for us. Now, that we are kissing July goodbye and looking for the back to school provisions. We do this with God's directions and running with the football of truths to go into the new school year. Bless the Lord, Oh my soul! Ow, I can't shout until my knee gets better!:) Link to the sermon from Pastor DeYoung. Please listen and be blessed

Friday, July 25, 2014

Enough Ice Cream, already, Mommy?

I do not have to celebrate the ice cream and return of my baby, until the ice cream is all gone. What used to be a half gallon should sit in the freezer until the next celebration of family. Yesterday, I made myself sick in the stomach, eating ice cream 2 days in a row. I am glad that my stomach is no longer used to that. Too much fat is not good.

Now that back to school is on the horizon, I start my maternal montras until school starts. "Get off of the technology! No you may not play the Wii! Go outside! Lets do this or that outside thing! etc." {Please, help me remember, Lord Jesus} These techy children cannot see outside their devices. That dear boy who spoke at Ev's graduation taught me that{bless his heart}.

It is a mother's responsibility to say to herself, that if he hasn't bothered me terribly or gotten into trouble that I can see, he must be in trouble that I can't see. Cyber-trouble.
Mental and emotional entanglements of one sort and another grab far deeper into the soul than a gallon of ice-cream. We don't really know where those entanglements will carry our children. This pied piper is huge and ominous and invisible.

My mind goes to the invisible man and old movies about the invisible potions that people used to make. There is a generation who is bound together in the internet. Let us make it for the saving of their souls and not the demise. Please, God!

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Why are your lips blue?

Oh that dear Ezra? Calls from camp, "Mom, I fell out of the tube, but I'm okay." That was 3 days ago, no news was good news in my mind, until I saw lips of blue getting off of the bus.

Where does mother's mind go, to see the blue lips? He totally shrugged me off and went into the building. He is walking, he is talking, my mind checks off the other life signs that are evident, so as not to go ballistic in an inquiry as to why my son came back with blue lips.

I whisper a prayer for the mothers whose lot it was to receive the reality of my overactive imagination, in this case. Thank you God, Ezra took out the bottle of blue candy that was the culprit for causing the maternal anxiety attack that nearly just happened. Thank you God that you remember why, when no one else can identify with this consistent and constant struggle of life. Yes, I am still taking my medicine and all the more when an Ezra man goes to camp.

nk God these young men are aware of their mother's oversensitivity to these mild episodes of crazies. I didn't really have an episode, but the yank of the heart that is growing up of the littlest fellow in my home is a season of real and important self-stock. Will you ever be ready to let them go? I really don't know and they know that. They tolerate my imbalance. I pour out in prayer to God, my sensitivity that some mothers this week had the heartbreak and worst nightmare come true in their lives, come to pass. Comfort and help them, Lord, as only You can.

This week, I will take a break from asking the why questions. I will just commit to pray for those whose hearts are open in pain for the rest of this short lifetime. I will Thank God for the best answer to all my prayers, that my Ezra came home safely and has had a great time and a little more grown than he was before he left.

It is my ultimate prayer that the craziness that bereavement leaves was the reason that Solomon was as wise as he was. His mother would have seen stars at the blue lips, like me. God bless their understanding of their mother to their profit, in Jesus' Name.
PS. after that... I smooched him to high heaven and we ate cake and ice cream and I filled his belly with good hearty beef soup and home made bread, once I forgot about the blue lips, we celebrated God's goodness.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

It is so good for the elder children to feel some of the pain of missing Ezra! Turnabout is fairplay, ?

I remember tears from my little brothers when I went to Highschool and they thought that they would never see me again. I saw Paul cry when we went to Georgia, that his sister was going away. I am grateful to see the heartfelt missing of the elder siblings to this little fellow, who is the center of our attention so often and so often taken for granted. I want him to come home to a new house. A clean house, for a little while, at least. A joyful home and a welcoming place for him. Help us, Jesus. He comes back at 2 today! Hurry, hurry... Lots to do.

Monday, July 21, 2014

The Crew made it back from Chowan, safely. Of Course, they had spurious notes of the orientation from the college...

Suffice it to say, she is registered and still on course for late August sailing.

My early morning breakfast of coffee and cottage cheese w/sugar free lime jello{maybe a diet spurred on by watching the video of Ethel Waters I don't want to get that big, I thought}, was interrupted by Mr. Bunny, who came over to check on my bone healing and my knee reset. "I'm still in pain" I told him. He commiserated, as he always does; then, hopped off, before I could get the green pepper that I was cutting for him. He wouldn't let me take his picture this time.

The house is awfully quiet without Ezra. He might have asked me 10 times to play the wii by this point in the morning. No, No, No...etc. My "no" quotient is missing him for sure. {How many times can you say no to a sweet face, like his?} It seems odd, how very attached my boys have been to gaming.

En was into the DS at the same age. I hated it, but he was so quiet that I didn't really notice his disappearance until, it got lost, one day. All of a sudden this, bunch of conflicts arose that hadn't been there before. A new boy was with us, who hadn't been with us before. {We had missed his wonderful contribution to the conflict of family love.} This missing of my baby is a wonderful missing. I know it is my arms reaching into personal regions of interaction with God and others. When they are lost in "cyberdom", I don't know where they are, but, at camp they are somewhere that I can relate to. Thank you God for a great opportunity. Ezra sold candy to get to camp this year and it was a grand determination and a wonderful expression of effort on his part that we were grateful to see. We trust that God will meet him there and show Ezra more of Himself.

We celebrated Ezra going to camp yesterday with a trip to "Subways" and 3 hero sandwiches fed the bunch of us. We all had directions for him in his goings. Don't do this, do do that, etc. It must be so confusing to be the youngest child, I cannot imagine how many bosses, this poor baby has. I try to ask his opinion about it. What are you looking forward to? What is your anticipation of things? I wrote him a "palanka" {family letters of love and good wishes tucked into the suitcase}and I do hope he reads it.

Ben bought new pajamas that morning and it was a funny interaction between Ezra and his dad in that. I do see so much more sympathy and comradery between Ben and Ez. He took an hour out of our getting ready for church to run to Walmart and get pajamas for the boy who has hand me down pajamas from everybody. I tried to be supportive because I know my heart does funny things in sentimentality. It is Sunday and he is finding this reason to go to the "store"? I won't question, I will just watch what happens. Breakfast and pajamas and a new outfit and Ezra wasn't excited and happy, like I expected. They looked at each-other. The same face at different ages 55 and 10 years old, looking back in the mirror of time at the same face and the same excitement of ambition and life. "I don't want "Mario" on my pajama's, Dad." Here comes Jayne out of Ben's mouth. He is trying to carve a new image for himself I deduced. This is my turn to correct myself and translate the interaction from son to father. Ben usually has to do this for me. Your father just said I love you in this son and your answer should be Thank you. Oh, this is what it should be and he condescended to my request. I know what he meant and I know what Ben intended in this offering of seemingly extravagant{in terms of time and attention} love to the "youngest boy" launching out into the deep. This new boy who comes back is coming back more in touch with others outside our family and maybe with a little peer interaction that he isn't used to, I expect. We will see? I pray that he will learn to lead, somewhat. 6th child in the family rarely gets that opportunity. Help him, Lord Jesus, I pray.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Nearly Chowanautical...

This is a riproaring weekend for us, anticipated. The older crew is going to Chowan with the college woman for orientation. I have to stay home for the middleschool fellow to get to camp on Sunday. I have my post to participation in the team play. I am disappointed not to hear how the Baptist College orients the parents to college life.

I was really helped by the Lutherans when we went through this for Elyse. I was hoping for more parenting tools from the Baptists at this occasion. I am sure that they will clue me in and bring me on board, when they get back from this long trip.

We are really only as old as our eldest distant child, I think. So now I am growing into 5 hours old. How long can you hold your breath to get to your child if she needs you and you are crying. Faith is stretched that far and your heart is stretched out of sync when they are that far away. I don't care for facetime and the phone for communication and that distances me further or causes my heart to reach in prayer that far.

Can Mommies move to Chowan?

No, you have to stay home this trip and that is part of my personal orientation. Trusting that their father can ask the right questions and participate more in his way in the process of letting go. Not really letting go, but offering out. Extending our own reach, is more like it. Let's hope we are up for the challenge of this. I think we are. Will Ezra get back from camp 4 whole days distant from us? All of these prayer requests are brooded to God in prayer and I know He has it in control and no amount of my worry will make it turn out any differently. He never sleeps or slumbers and He cares for my children more than I do. Thank you God for your massive care for us.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Good news! Look Ma, no cast!

They gave me a clean bill of bone use. The fracture is such that it doesn't need a cast. Ten days is enough in a splint and a sling. Halleluia... Still hurts some, though. Tylenol for pain is working and my other arm is getting used to being used alot more than usual, so it is hurting just to keep things even.

Emma, my Border Collie was so pleased. She ran up to me when I came in rejoicing that I didn't have that "thing" on my arm. She didn't quite jump on me and let me know that she was aware of my freedom and still delicate condition. She put her paw right under my foot after she jumped around, as if to say: go ahead step on my paw, that is your family's way of celebrating, I have noticed. I laughed that she is so a part of our family nonverbal conversation.

I almost fell again avoiding her. I love her shepherding ways. Not falling for a while and no roller skating for a while. :)

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Happy Anniversary, Mommy!

This year on my anniversary, I watched the little rascal's episode of Spanky's dad forgetting the anniversary. We always love the end scene where Spanky gets to spank his dad and we giggled about this nearly 60 years or so after the original episode was on. There is something cool about the way we go about celebrating such a great accomplishment and mom staying with dad all these years.

I love my mom's attitude and direction that I watched through the 52 years of me knowing her and this is either the 53rd or 54th anniversary of their relationship. She always made it very clear that God was first and she was doing this wifing and mothering stuff for God, first. No person is worth the effort, ever. We miss dad and celebrate the joyful expressions their union has left us.

I enjoy that thought as I traverse my own 31 year old neophyte effort at covenant keeping. I always try to remember that God is the only one worthy of the effort of love and devotion. When my husband is close at hand he is the other participant in this deep covenant,the affection goes to him. In the meantime, until we see God face to face we await the Church's communion with Christ.

Thanks for teaching us that, mom!

Psalm 4:3 But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto him. Psalm 4:4 Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.

Monday, July 7, 2014

OWWWW Mommy! WWW.Come Lord Jesus!

My mommy said what kind of cyber jargon is owwww Mommy? She sent it around to her translators. What did she just say? They said Jayne said she broke her arm and it hurts. Generation gapp kicks in. We are trying to stay current with eachother and have closer ties, but do we? Mommy called and we laughed and I really don't know if she was joking that she thought that or not. But I think the younger generation has a goal of really relating in present tense and not in future or perfect tense. Who are you and what are you really saying? Cut through the decorum and nonsense and tell me what is up with you. They need guides and not critics. God help us to keep the tabs on what our cyber cries are doing to our culture for good and for ill.
Still Maranatha and seeking the face of God in the providences that we are dealt

Thursday, July 3, 2014

I refuse to let a broken bone get me down:(

I am 52 and I have a broken radius. Owwwww! Splint still on my arm, sleeping is a bit of a strain. I am grateful for a wonderful caring family concertedly delighting in my comforts. The hand is slightly swollen and maybe I should try to paint the nails before Tuesday when I see the doctor again. Maybe a little make up and nice clothes for the holiday will pick up my sullen emotions on the holiday. I intend to have a happy 4th of July, regardless. I intend to write a new chapter in my life from this fall. My radius is radiating and the Tylenol is woozying. Keep the pills coming, I say! I am kissing my booboo and up and adam! Poor, Poor Pitiful Me!

Wednesday, July 2, 2014


When will I be the wonderful skating woman that I was born to be? I have never yet been successful the few times that I have tried rollerskating. This time was the most embarrassing. I was so excited about the couple of us being able to go to the rink. It has been years and my Evvie was available to go, so I was not going to miss the opportunity of one last hurrah before her launching. It was a beautiful and warm evening. I got a pair of size 10s for my big feet and had all of the ambition to keep my hands on the wall for the whole evening. It would be a warming up exercise and little by little I will get around that skating rink before I am too old to do so. Oh well! Evvy and I got a little too ambitious. We were going to walk to the wooden part without holding on. It is soft on the carpet area and how hard could it be. 5 maybe 6 steps out and kerplunk, I fell. elbow is fractured and a whole night in the hospital. That part of the adventure was too long to tell on one blog. 3- 6 weeks in a cast and my very first broken bone ever. Talk about an enchanted evening and skating on thin ice? That's me! Silly mommy, skates are for kids? Or are they? All in a day's work...

Title- The Studious One!

Title-  The Studious One!
artwork by Elyse

Of biscuits and syrup

Of biscuits and syrup
tasty treats

Happy Saturday!

Happy Saturday!
a day at the Raptor Center.

Widdle Emmie in outer space school

Emmie jumped on the bus and off it flew out into the atmosphere. There was a set of clouds with turbulence right above the house and it took a few minutes for my Emmie to buckle her seatbelt. They hit the bump hard and it knocked my Emmie out of her seat and she bumped her head. The video camera came on and the monitor looked through and stated, Ms. Emmie, where are you? You are not in your seat. Where are you? I am alright I fell because I hadn’t buckled correctly. Well jump up Emmie we have a long way to go and you have to be buckled there is entirely too much turbulence in the stratosphere for you to unbuckle now. As soon as we are through this weather system there will be straight sailing but right now you must buckle. Emmie scrambled into the seat with intensity and purpose now. She watched every cloud pass her window and her nose was pressed to the window trying to see the top of the house as it drifted slowly out of sight. Soon they were not only out of sight of the house, the sun came out brightly and just as quickly they were putting on the atmospherical breathing apparatus and the outerspherical lights. The ABA and the OL. These precautions were to make them appear to be satellites to the radar as they were out in the ionosphere. Emmie knew all about this now. She had gone to the orientation and had a good breakfast and it took them 20 minutes for her to get out past the atmospherical pull and to feel the zero gravity. It would be 15 minutes before the gravity simulators would take effect, a glitch in the system which was being worked on. Until then, they enjoyed the couple of minutes of floatation, while being connected to the seats by belt. The first thing they saw everyday was the strataflotsam. The items which had been dumped into the atmosphere by earlier generations. What would their generation do about this ecological waste area that remained floating above their heads? This was a question for the generations. For now it was the area that they had to guide through on the way to school.

Midnight at the OASIS

Midnight at the OASIS
Sunset in Huntersville

My little Emmie

ran to the bus on the first day of the last year of school. 2 buns on the side of her head. She kissed me and ran at dawn to the bus. She was starting the adventure of a lifetime. I would never see that little girl again, she was going to woman school!

My Father and I 1989

My Father and I 1989

to the tune of Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme


Are you going to Mary Immaculate?

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Remember me to the one who lived there,

He once was a true love of mine,

Tell him to buy me an acre of land,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Between the muddy Hudson in Jamaica Bay,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,

Tell him to sow in it seeds of pure cream,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And build Ice cream mountains and buildings of whipped cream,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,

Tell him to reap them with sickles of M&M’s,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And chew bubble gum and eat till we’re done,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine.

Tell him to run it off down the motor parkway,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

After your done 50 pushups

and jog down the West Side Highway,

Then he’ll be a true love of mine…

(Don’t wait for me today dad, The kids are sick again, My tummy’s bulging again, My heart is aching again, And now there’s no love there…)

He once was, a true love of mine….So, Girls, I do beg you don't miss your Daddy,Apricots, Chocolate cherries and Pie,You have one short chance to see him on this side, Go visit him and let your light shine.