We called her Grandma Hanst. I love this picture of her at the beach, because that is how I remember her.
Easter always makes me think of Mu's house, which is now Aunt Jackie's and Lauren's house to us all. Easter day or so,we would dress up and go to Mu's house. She always looked at my mommy squeemishly on account of the stork always visiting our house. I remember the baskets that Aunt Anne would hand out for Mu and a great big one was always for Glen. I said, why does Glen get such a big Easter basket. They said because he is a grandchild and you are a great grandchild. I set in my mind that I was going to try to be a grandchild, some way. I didn't know you had to be born a grandchild...
This is us at Mu's house, before the egg hunt. Baby Jojo was in my mommy's tummy
Grandma Hanst was the boss of our family and it was clear that she knew alot. I remember being at the beach with her. I had eaten lunch and my mommy asked Mu, if it was okay for me to go back into the water. She said wait an hour and my mother obeyed her, implicitly. I was soooo angry. Mu ate her sandwich and then said, it is going to rain, we should be going home. I was sooooo much more angry at her for that. I do not see clouds in the sky?
Aunt Anne went about gathering the family for the coming deluge. We travelled to car in the first group, with Mu; on account of my mommy had baby Jojo in the tummy. Before we got to the car, the heavens opened and buckets of rain fell upon us. The aunties were stuck under trees and all of the men had to go and gather the damsels and get them to their cars. None of us got hit by lightning and we all made it home safely, because of Mu's early warning system. I said in my 5 year old mind, she must know God. I guess she did. Happy Easter and make it a memorable one.
Last night we went to bed with Ethan's podcast on the MP3 player. Ezra was comforted and I was, also.
Ethan would be in DC by now, we knew; but we weren't quite ready to talk about what he would be doing. So, we just listened to him, quietly. "I think, he was talking too loud into the player. Don't you?" Ezra corrected his brother, in my hearing. "I don't know, I think that he wanted that effect on the podcast." Of course, his mother would say that.
Brotherly adversity and maternal acceptance are par for the course. Usually, we don't even think about how we interact, but today we were caring and arguing with him and eachother about him. We are grateful that he has this grand opportunity, but our hearts are the more tender at his being gone. He'll be back, tomorrow. Thank God.
Thirteen, and, thank God, he was sponsored to take a trip to DC. with his class. The trip is tomorrow.
Trips are never easy for us. We now have more adults in the house than children and this can complicate any process.
Ethan, is of course, a man. His elder siblings are constantly instructing him of this or that thing to do. It is frustrating and helping me to appreciate the skills of the younger siblings in the family. They learn peace-making skills, just negotiating the instructions of so many. Some of the instructions are important and some are peevish and the younger sibling must use discernment to tell which is which. I just use the words "shut up!", when the cacophony becomes unbearable. Too many chiefs and not enough underlings, or followers.
Well, Ethan is getting packed and growing into manhood and learning to care for himself. I love the spotlight that comes to these things when a trip is imminent.
Thank God for Baby Addie-Grace. It seems every year or so, these days a new baby comes to breathe new life into my grief month. I march through March in a fog, each day my memory of a dearly departed 21 days distract and entrench me. The distractions of the beautiful sweet remainder children comfort and then, God sends new ones. Addie Grace has me working on my crocheting. I do hope that I will finish the job before she goes to college. Stoney's quilt is sitting in my drawer from last year and many other activities that I began in love for nieces and nephews that comfort my soul. Hat and sweater are the works of my hands and comforting me in my grief walk.
It is always a dark day for me on March 4th. I keep trying new ideas to encourage myself to have faith on that day and it seems impossible for me. Even 24 years later, the birth story looms large, with no one to share it with. No hugs for that day. No birthday cake, just pain and loss.
So, I woke this morning and turned on a local preacher and guess what? He was preaching on Enoch in Genesis. Amazing grace. Enoch never died. Enoch saw God's judgment looming on the horizon and preached to his generation. What a delightful providence!
I was able to pick my faith up, again, from the side of the road, bruised and broken. Yes, there is a good God, in heaven. Yes, He is watching over us, inspite of my loss and pain today and this month, leading up to Easter Sunday. Christ is the resurrection and the life. That seems so impossible, when far from the grave of your departed one and grieving. But, it is true, anyhow.
So much of the look on my boys' faces causes a smile on my face. That sermon reminded me of the comfort that I found in the life of Enoch, who God spared from death, altogether.
As we await the celebration of the truth of Christ resurrection and my heart seems in the tomb, I am comforted that His Word is alive and working on my behalf.
Steven Davies' message on Enoch from scripture
Emmie jumped on the bus and off it flew out into the atmosphere. There was a set of clouds with turbulence right above the house and it took a few minutes for my Emmie to buckle her seatbelt. They hit the bump hard and it knocked my Emmie out of her seat and she bumped her head. The video camera came on and the monitor looked through and stated, Ms. Emmie, where are you? You are not in your seat. Where are you? I am alright I fell because I hadn’t buckled correctly. Well jump up Emmie we have a long way to go and you have to be buckled there is entirely too much turbulence in the stratosphere for you to unbuckle now. As soon as we are through this weather system there will be straight sailing but right now you must buckle. Emmie scrambled into the seat with intensity and purpose now. She watched every cloud pass her window and her nose was pressed to the window trying to see the top of the house as it drifted slowly out of sight. Soon they were not only out of sight of the house, the sun came out brightly and just as quickly they were putting on the atmospherical breathing apparatus and the outerspherical lights. The ABA and the OL. These precautions were to make them appear to be satellites to the radar as they were out in the ionosphere. Emmie knew all about this now. She had gone to the orientation and had a good breakfast and it took them 20 minutes for her to get out past the atmospherical pull and to feel the zero gravity. It would be 15 minutes before the gravity simulators would take effect, a glitch in the system which was being worked on. Until then, they enjoyed the couple of minutes of floatation, while being connected to the seats by belt. The first thing they saw everyday was the strataflotsam. The items which had been dumped into the atmosphere by earlier generations. What would their generation do about this ecological waste area that remained floating above their heads? This was a question for the generations. For now it was the area that they had to guide through on the way to school.
Midnight at the OASIS
Sunset in Huntersville
My little Emmie
ran to the bus on the first day of the last year of school. 2 buns on the side of her head. She kissed me and ran at dawn to the bus. She was starting the adventure of a lifetime. I would never see that little girl again, she was going to woman school!
My Father and I 1989
to the tune of Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme
A VISIT TO PAPA
Are you going to Mary Immaculate?
Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,
Remember me to the one who lived there,
He once was a true love of mine,
Tell him to buy me an acre of land,
Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,
Between the muddy Hudson in Jamaica Bay,
Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,
Tell him to sow in it seeds of pure cream,
Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,
And build Ice cream mountains and buildings of whipped cream,
Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,
Tell him to reap them with sickles of M&M’s,
Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,
And chew bubble gum and eat till we’re done,
Then, He’ll be a true love of mine.
Tell him to run it off down the motor parkway,
Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,
After your done 50 pushups
and jog down the West Side Highway,
Then he’ll be a true love of mine…
(Don’t wait for me today dad, The kids are sick again, My tummy’s bulging again, My heart is aching again, And now there’s no love there…)
He once was, a true love of mine….So, Girls, I do beg you don't miss your Daddy,Apricots, Chocolate cherries and Pie,You have one short chance to see him on this side, Go visit him and let your light shine.
We called her Grandma Hanst. I love this picture of her at the beach, because that is how I remember her.
Easter always makes me think of Mu's house, which is now Aunt Jackie's and Lauren's house to us all. Easter day or so,we would dress up and go to Mu's house. She always looked at my mommy squeemishly on account of the stork always visiting our house. I remember the baskets that Aunt Anne would hand out for Mu and a great big one was always for Glen. I said, why does Glen get such a big Easter basket. They said because he is a grandchild and you are a great grandchild. I set in my mind that I was going to try to be a grandchild, some way. I didn't know you had to be born a grandchild...
This is us at Mu's house, before the egg hunt. Baby Jojo was in my mommy's tummy
Grandma Hanst was the boss of our family and it was clear that she knew alot. I remember being at the beach with her. I had eaten lunch and my mommy asked Mu, if it was okay for me to go back into the water. She said wait an hour and my mother obeyed her, implicitly. I was soooo angry. Mu ate her sandwich and then said, it is going to rain, we should be going home. I was sooooo much more angry at her for that. I do not see clouds in the sky?
Aunt Anne went about gathering the family for the coming deluge. We travelled to car in the first group, with Mu; on account of my mommy had baby Jojo in the tummy. Before we got to the car, the heavens opened and buckets of rain fell upon us. The aunties were stuck under trees and all of the men had to go and gather the damsels and get them to their cars. None of us got hit by lightning and we all made it home safely, because of Mu's early warning system. I said in my 5 year old mind, she must know God. I guess she did. Happy Easter and make it a memorable one.
