Thinking about Barbara Stanwyck...

That Barbara, the day that we had such a hard time lighting that match after watching Barbara’s movie with Fred Macmurray. I was in awe of her candid and feminine powerful way. Only my Grandma was like . that. I felt that she had introduced me to the maternal area of the sky… We all went outside to watch the angel fireworks over in that cuadrant of the sky. I called it a maternal huddle. This was many years ago now and I had nearly forgotten it, except for the reality of knowing that she and my Grandma, seem to be Heaven buddies in the closest part of heaven that there is to earth, because of their often interactions with us.

I tried to light a match this week, Of course it is my crazy season, where heaven comes down to comfort me in my pain of 30 years of missing my firstborn son. It took about 10 tries to get this match lit. Every day this week was fraught with a sense of God’s unusual presence in the outside of our center. The light of the sun seems to have a different glisten and I must admit that this hasn’t happened to me, anywhere but home. Wednesday or Thursday my mind was wandering as I patted Adam’s back near the window and when I looked at the trees outside they seemed to have a silver painted adornment on alot of the top branches. I wished that i could have been alone in the building to really enjoy the view in a relaxed way.

It seemed like a Barbara Stanwyck reminder to me. the maternal part of the sky had come down and we seemed in another part of reality. Not at all without pain or conflict or anger or the other feelings that are my portion in this season of thirty year grief walk, but comfort and direction, just the same.

Looking into the face of God, with the children’s guardian angels, with a heart full of repentance for the uncompleted tasks in rearing my own children and a heart full of hope for the next generations that we can give them a leg up on trusting Christ from their earliest moments. Confidence that “if God is for you…” is a gift that no other gift can match. I wish I could afford the purple tea set to send to Addie-Grace to mark my newfound sense of direction and affection for God and His mercies!

You know where I go?

I will whip the.....

is that what I mean?

A servant is not above his lord?

our children will become, what their teachers are. Are we giving them examples of charity and excellence? Humility and Grace?

If a person’s own children are bitter against them, has this an impact on how they treat other’s children? Do we want children who are bitter or enbittered against their parents or the learning process? How do we engage children in their learning? How do we motivate them? Is yelling and growling at them motivating?? I think not!

We are provoking our children from the earliest moments to hate learning and then we wonder why they are antagonistic to mental acumen, at best.

Justice and Mercy are early lessons. Firmness is in order, but cruelty or belittling is not. Our habits of antagonism and gaining the children’s attention, must be tailored to the individual children somehow. As a culture, we holler. As a culture we shame. Is this helping us?