The habit of crying and the habit of not crying?
Why do they get away with it, I wonder. Tears have hardly been my habit until Grandma passed away. Hardly ever did something make me want people to see me cry. If I cry it is by accident. I Remember the subway on the way to Birthday House, somebody was taking my mothers full attention. Why? On the plane to Aunt Dorothy all the way there, she cried and life had to stop for the criers. My mom made it everybody’s responsibility to help the cryers. I felt responsible to help the cryer at that moment. Even when it was my tragedy, it became a problem to be crying unless I was helping those who were crying for me. No! Take care of yourself at that moment. Let others care for you and you learn to care for you until you are strong again.
Maybe if you cry in infancy, out loud, you learn how to use the tears. Cryers sometimes talk about crying to emphasize a point to certain people. I don’t think it’s fair to use tears for effect. That is just my opinion. Tears should be an expression and not a manipulation tactic. I cried about Grandma and getting kicked out for about 10 years. Trying to grow up to a new life without my one human confidante. Thirty made me a bit stronger and hubby was shocked that the crying had stopped. Forty seemed to grow a bit of questioning and discussion about topics. Walker men have a male dominant bent and I wasn’t averse to that. But sometimes people ask you to make the decision when they don’t want to face the consequences. I will take responsibility, but not only on the tough decisions, I would like some easy good decisions to answer for also.
Private crying is not so bad, I think. Daycare makes normal interactions a public thing. Some people cry it out, everything. Some people punch it out and some talk it out. Daycare doesn’t facilitate long working out of behaviors, good or bad. Nothing is sharpened to its full potential.
Josh’s wanted to leave something that he had built, here in his last day and knowing that he wasn’t coming back. Let me leave one perfectly crafted Lego building for the future to know that I was here. I guess that is a great, though very hard lesson, “very few people will remember that you were here” . Even the buildings we make are Lego. Somebody will take those Legos and make something else that they like. All you really have are the lessons learned and the loves acquired.
We Shall Overcome! A troop indeed cometh! And God will overwhelm us with His Amazing Grace to allow us to overcome!
