The simple joys of more hearts and loves than hands.

It is so interesting that a day like yesterday when a St. Bernard Dog can take up our attention and interest can disintegrate into conflicts and mumuring so swiftly. I am grateful for my family and my responsibilities, but it is on days like these when I am saying, like Elizabeth Browning, Lord, help me not to be buried under the days. The responsibilities are looming and growing and my energies seem to be waning and small. This makes me sad.
A simple reminder that a loving mother cares about clean clothes and the thought of the piles of laundry that haunt me, is a trigger, among other things. I love the line in the movie Yours Mine and Ours, with Lucille Ball when the whole family is getting adopted by one another and the judge tries to give a compliment to Lucille Ball saying that his wife had one or two children and couldn't keep up with her responsibilities at all. She comes back at him and says that it is often because she has an understanding husband that she is able to cope. I was encouraged by that and try to lift my spirits on days like this with the rememberance of the joys that are mounting higher than the laundry piles.
Somebody is always in love or hate with somebody else. Somebody is always laughing and somebody is always crying. It is a dizzying experience sometimes. Still, I am grateful for the experience and would never trade it for anything. God is everywhere. His word says that He is in the solitary, as well as in the crowd. I am learning to balance the experience of Him in both circumstances. I will blink my eyes and they will all be gone and the show will be over and the curtain will be down. So, I will rise on the next day to my role and my responsibility and whatever emotions are there, I will tie them together and play my part, with whatever strength is allowed me, today.

Maybe, I am missing my praise dancing this morning...:{

We had a visitor this morning.

I woke early and in the middle of my praise dancing in the morning, God sent us a special visitor. Enoch's "knock off" bus was outside and right behind the lights of the bus we spied with wonder, what looked like a baby bear, from the distance. It was clearly enamored by the lights of the bus. The bus was backing out of our little community and all that were startled by the sound stood outside with me, a little sweaty and in my PJ's; trying to woo him from getting hit by the bus as it backed up. After the first couple of calls, it was clear to us that it wasn't a bear and it wasn't stupid enough to get hit by a bus either. It just wanted the entertainment of the lights and the sound of the bus as it backed up. We called and called and he seemed to ignore us for the sight of my crepe myrtle tree of colorful hues. We were about to close the door, when around the house I saw him peering. Do you really like me? He seemed to say. I was instantly in love.(Ben knows about him...Hands on hips) The very biggest St. Bernard dog that I had ever seen, was ready to come inside my house. I was no longer brave. He kissed my hand as we fed him doggy treats from the cupboard. Elyse rescued us and took him home to his own house. But the morning was delightful with a new love and neighbor in our acquaintance to talk about. Of course we couldn't find the camera at a time like this. The only one who missed the experience was Ezra. I hope he comes to visit us again.

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Occasionally, I am able to step back from my mothering to see the crop that is growing under my roof...

Mommy used to say, That Charles Walker sure has some strong genes. Ruthy, used to say how do you stand it? They all look like Rosalee. That is the truth! I am outnumbered 7 to 1 and even though they do let me talk, my interpreters have to resay what I say, most of the time in "Walker" these days.

I cracked up at that the other day. Ben was offended that I said no thank you to some food that was there. I wasn't hungry. I tried to explain that in my family it was ingrained into us to say no thank you. The children chimed in as if by rote. Enoch said, If you say no thank you to food in Walker it means you are sick. There is no other excuse for not eating. We laughed and laughed at the sheer outragious differences between us. That is the spice of life here in Walkerville.
The other night I had my 3 Walker women around me in a hair doing powwow and Emily started a schtick about what will happen when the family grows and there are a next generation of "BWalkers".
I couldn't breath, it was so funny. She said Elyse is going to live in some other country missioning and refuse to teach her children English. She will drop them at the house for Ben and I to watch them with the other cousins on a family reunion. (Elyse only wants boys) Emily says, Ben is going to take the oldest one down to the basement(we don't have a basement to give him a talking to) and I am going to remember after about an hour that the child doesn't speak English and remind him of it. I fell over. They said I am going to mistake the child for a 20 year old and tell him about the birds and the bees by diagram and he is only 9 years old, because Elyse is going to feed her children so organically that they will be very big for their age. Well he needed to know it anyway. They say that is all I do is teach them about the birds and the bees. We fell over and I almost burned whoever I was doing their hair.

Last night the joke was about the Night at the Museum movie. They know that I like history and Teddy Roosevelt especially and many a Teddy Roosevelt joke was bantered around while we watched that cutely depicted soliloquy of human history in the nutshell. I loved the second one, when we saw it and the first one was just as funny to me. They don't laugh because they don't study history like I do, so the joke is "you had to be there". Meaning that I am so old that when Teddy Roosevelt tells a joke, I am the only one who gets it.
A near choking incident made the evening complete. It is not a full dinner unless somebody almost chokes,:) then we have to stop joking and chew our food. "Boy, That Charles Walker had some really strong genes!"

Another Crazy Hair Day for the Grammar School Boys.

last year's crazy hair day*~*~*~*~*~*~*
At least, this year we are more prepared for crazy hair day than at earlier times. We went to the fall festival, something we've been wishing to do all three years that we've been here. The fall festival happens every year and this is Ethan's last one, in Grammar school and I dragged my tired self, out of my bed to go to it. We had volunteered to be on the clean up committee for it. I figured that would make me go. We did. Each of the people stood outside a classroom with a small game for the children to play, like a carnival. The boys had a blast and my clean up team was a blast for me. I get a kick out of blowing the whistle on my troops and getting something done. We did a little half hour of something and I was psyched. We both got what we wanted. Now, if only I could get them to follow me like that at home.:)
So, Now the last crazy hair day came and went without real pomp, like last year. No teaming up on the boys to create an artisic masterpiece to force Dad into cutting the hair the next day. Just MOM putting vaseline and spikes hither and thither. There was really no difference in their hair by the time they got to school. It was fun for them, while it lasted. Every day has a new blessing attached to it. The boys are their own little team right now. Middle school has the Ev girl hopping and the first nine weeks of High School are over for the Enochman. We are well on our way to a profitable school year...As I live and hope...This year's first grader

Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh...

Car trouble etc. kept me from the Patterson farms yesterday. The sun came out and Old man Winter had no flirtations for me at all. It was so hot and balmy last night that we dared not touch the air conditioner for fear of the thermostat outside to change. Enjoyment of the real unconditioned air from the outside is a rare enjoyment, when you have the luxury of Central A/C. I think that we would do well to keep windows open more of the time. This is not an acceptable thought to my clan, but I must insist.
Anyway, my fine farmboy came home with a beautiful little pumpkin that he picked out himself. I would have loved to have gone into the patch and heard his mindset for picking a half bruised and half dirty little pumpkin:). I am sure that he had some reasoning behind his first grade 6 year old thought.
Two days ago, I had the privilege of enjoying parent teacher for the little guys. The two of them are so easy. No real urgent concerns in the classroom. All of the concerns are about getting them ready for school. Ezra had a couple of early weeks falling asleep in the classroom, acquiring a nickname with the teachers'"Sleeping Beauty". He has now gotten adjusted to the schedule. He reads and writes better than all of his siblings and the teacher is trying to challenge his thinking when he reads because he is so pleased with himself that he doesn't comprehend as well as it looks like he is reading. We will keep him pressing for a challenge in his learning. For fun the boys sit at the table and draw at eachother. They all copy whatever Enoch is working on and it is so cute to see the levels of drawing development of the skill that comes so naturally to them. I am still trying to work with them to do a mural for me for Halloween. That is like pulling teeth to get them to work together on something for mother.
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Holding hands





Last nights' remedial dance class (to work on the Hoedown showdown, I still can't do it:)) took us to the past episodes of Lost in Space, which we sat around the computer laughing and shivering at. These days are short and soon they will be gone so while they are attached to the vine, though the vine is leaning and breaking, I try to make hay with them while the sun shines. Fights and struggles included.

It is 63 degrees this morning.

We are almost ready to pull out the shorts, because the warmth is such a change from the frigid week we have endured.35 degrees? The native NC people are adapted to this kind of changeable weather and I have seen some beautiful long sweaters that are nearly coats. These are a necessary acoutrement for outerwear in the fall in the wastelands of America(LOL). There are such mild temperatures here we get spoiled. I can hardly remember what snow looks like(real snow). They have a replica of snow that shows up once or twice a year for a photo op and all of the world stops to photograph the snow and the beauty that it brings. For now, we were tempted to think that Mr. Snow was going to show up early for his fashion show. Let me tell you Charlottenes are always ready for it. They keep their one pair of gloves and warm items perfect in the box marked(Photo op for the snow)LOL. Not really. I am glad that it is warming up. We are going to the farm today, Ezra and I with his class. I am not sure if it is apples or pumpkins we are after this time. What a beautiful day it is supposed to be for the trip.

When I walked the Motor Parkway with my Daddy...

He was always in way better shape than I. This was because of his nightly runs with his Uncle Frank. Wait up...Dad. Don't leave me here in the "forest"? That was the forest and the wilderness, right beside the Cross Island Expressway. He was trying to mold me into an athlete, by any means possible. I felt like Gretel and that he was trying to lose me, out there. We are waiting for you to get your own motivation to win, he seemed to say. Needless to say, it never came to me.



I really used to ask God to tell me how he felt from day to day, because it seemed so varied to me, not knowing what to expect. Men are like this sometimes. I would feel the wind outside the house blow briskly and sure enough, when I went inside the whip was out and there was some payment for some infraction being paid; at cost. :(
Even these are good memories now that we can't see him.



Now when I am walking around the parking lot at work or around, I notice other things than the wind blowing and whether my daddy will be tyrading again. I notice the clearness of the sky, as though Brother Marius himself had checked it, like he checked my notebook and not allowed one doodle on it. I notice the birds cavorting with each other in the trees and building families. I really do miss talking with my daddy about the business of child rearing. He would have many choice things to say about my stringbean teenaged boy, probably. Maybe he would say, don't try to feed him too much or he'll get fat like you. Maybe he would say, push him to go after girls as he tried to do to me. "Call Mark Ruffins, Jayne." Maybe he was too much in my life and maybe I was too much in his. But I really do miss him alot, these days.

BRRR. IT is colder today here than it is in NY!

My little queenbee is frozen to the blooms on my butterfly bush. It was a romantical way for her to die.She looks like every baby that I have seen hanging onto her/his mother. Elyse says that she will thaw and come back to life, but for now she is hanging to the blooms and as frozen as the frost can make her. I think we have seen the last of the butterflies for this season.
It is supposed to go up to 75 degrees today, but it is freezing this morning. These are the mornings that the southern women take out their mink coats and long underwear. It is so cute to see the differences in culture. Southern women seem to pride themselves in always looking perfect. Makeup and clothes just so. Even this frost of October doesn't seem to catch them off guard at all. Their ducks are in a row in these things. What was I doing when I was supposed to be cleaning my closet...Blogging?:)

For the Love of the African Nose.

My Daddy used to talk so beautifully about the uniqueness and his personal love for the African noseThis is Enoch's non-verbal expression of the beauty of his sister's nose.
Saturday morning Walker cartoon time!
This one is by Elyse.








****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************Why we do what we do.

It is still raining :(

A tall hot cup of Starbucks is warming my body and innerds on this 3rd day of rain. It is so interesting that I forget what the sun looks like after a couple of days of rain. We had such an oppressive summer with no air, that this weather is a welcome change of pace. I always feel like I am taking a shower outside, when it rains.LOL
Ezra is now "too old" for the tellytubby umbrella that his father bought him.:( Can you imagine Ezra being too old for anything. He is so spoiled, so be it. We will enjoy the fruit of this very surprising rambunctious element of our lives, in our old age. Spoiled or not.
Last year, I asked the Lord to give us so much rain that we would feel like it is London, here in NC. I was sick of the heat and sick of the drought. I spent the entire season singing the 12 days of rain song to the 12 days of Christmas tune. God has humored me and blessed us abundantly with rain and I nearly forget how blessed we are until, as is the case today, I forgot what the sun looks like.

"Summersoft"(as Stevie puts it)

Yesterday's rain was summersoft, here in NC. Even though it is Autumn and alot colder than it has been. Oh boy, it is "chilly" down here. We got our cold snap that we were waiting for. I wasn't ready for it. I went out with a sweater and it rained.
Necessity forced me to "wait" for my beloved,"again". So, I was acting prissy and refused to darken the outside of my office for fear my "natural" would "go back". LOL
I had found some hairspray in my daughter's stash that day so I wasn't really afraid of the hair incident and I was going home anyway. My knee was the next excuse in my conscience. I was suffering from "post birthday boogie knee". The last birthday it was karate kicks that threw it out, this birthday it was the Hoe down, throw down. (I think that is the most adorable dance, ever!) Well, anyway, that was the first 1/2 hour of waiting. I did every standing still stretch that I could do in public at work and now it was time to launch out. Wait a minute, now this is Autumn in NC, not NY. This would be a midsummer rain in NY. 60-65 degrees. Stevie Wonder was serenading in my mind the summer soft... is it snow or clear days you'll find...(somebody email me the words). It was beautiful to enjoy the autumn rains and the tension of waiting and the arguments that ensue which lead to the making up and the rest of the fun of family conflicts. Most of all, it was really fun trying to walk in the rain with a bum knee, and by myself no less. Its not the Palisades but it was a stretch for me.
Every day I am practicing this dance so that I can get it. I get remedial help after school from the girls. One day we will do it and I will be able to keep up. I am in knee pain, but not down for the count yet...:)

My first taste of demorol was 14 years ago!

It took 2 days to deliver her. Pain and slowness, surely this is the very last time I will do this. I am getting too old! I can't deliver her. The nurses were looking at me funny. How can you be such a baby? This isn't your first?
Then, my mommy called them. She gave them all a talking to about me and they started to show some compasion for me. Finally on the 11th, she arrived. My beautiful ladybug girl: tiny girl with the very longest eyelashes that I had ever seen. Ben, do you think that she will grow into her eyelashes? It was worth it to have them, with or without the drugs.
I popped my knee out celebrating last night, again! I do this every birthday. Her head is the size that her whole body was at birth and she was demonstrating this "Hodown, shodown dance" She is now taken her place as the Paula Abdul of the family. I tried and tried and there was no getting this dance. Too many steps for an old lady like me. I'm gonna keep trying, I will not get stuck in the cupid shuffle forever.
Emmy made the pin the tail on the unicorn game and they had a blast and so did I. Thank God for each one of them!

Whose birthday is tomorrow?

No More baby girls! )

3 days till Evvy's 14th birthday. I miss the days of jax and dollies. So many times we went to the American Girl store to admire the dollies. Now it is about cuteness and peer helping and fluting and friends, not to mention the white water rafting saga. I want to go, mommy...I want to fly, mommy...Away little bird, be free!

I have to keep up with the growing women's movement in my house. There are cartoons and crafts and plays and stories and motions and emotions. We have a dozen projects on the table for halloween this year. Hopefully we will be able to congeal them into one for that day. Too many cooks and not enough eaters. We will get it together.

When I sit with the twins I feel like I am sitting with Tonyboy and Jo, if I look at them a certain way: at the legs and the hands, I can almost see my brother and sis. They are definitely unique, but no more baby girls to play tea party.

Today I told the story of Dad seeing Ton on Hollis.

I need help telling it though. I am looking at this boy who looks so much like my baby brother, in days when I never knew him. I cannot help telling him the antics my Mr. BigStuff got into. Be careful that you are so cute and sweet and have sisters doting on you. He is a delightful boy to listen to his mother banter on like that.
Dad would have gotten such a kick out of seeing the faces recirculate as they do. It seems as though we have stock in one face and can't diversify for anything :{

The dust has cleared from the Rafting incident.

Now we are back to the usual bickering and snickering in the house. They really do all get along, except, when they don't get along.
I love the rides to church these days. A full van of likeminded people; children and grownups. Banter about everything, from what somebody had on, to who is dating who and what cute new person is here. Occasionally, there is a squeal from the boys in the back who decide that it is time to pick on oneanother. It is all so fun. The time is limited for this kind of enjoyment, I know. I was the little one in the backseat, it seems like just yesterday, now I am the mommy.
The new generation gap is eco friendly. Mother this is not good for the economy and that is not good for the ecology. "Stick it in your ear!" I want to say. I don't. I let them teach me stuff. But, I refuse to spend more money for organic anything. Nothing organic, I say! I will not do it! We can just wash the pesticides off of the stuff and enjoy them in the fear of God.
Elyse and I enjoyed a coffee break at Starbucks on Saturday and we laugh like little girls at just about everything together. Emily missed it, that day. If Enoch hears me laughing too hard he reproves everyone for suffocating his mother. So, we have to tell our jokes outside of his hearing.
His new "voice" cracks me up, sounding like Tonyboy! He does this Scottish accent like his favorite movie(Wallace and Gromit) and I nearly keel over. He hates to see me laugh that hard. So he rarely does it now that he's "grown". How they can laugh at being cramped in the car, I only know by experience. I would spend anything to look down at Abby's eyes in the backseat, like we used to do going under the trestle. I love that they are creating and producing the kind of family love that will carry them through life.
Evvy's new joke is...okay, I forget now. She is hilarious and simply spontanious. She has the funniest way of getting out of doing dishes. It really is not funny.:)
We let her get away with it sometimes. Just because!
Ezra is a whip! 6 years old and writing circles around everybody. He doesn't sing the hymns in church anymore, now that he can read. He thinks that the words are there to read them. So, everybody else is singing and he is reading the words. I don't know if he can't figure out how to read and sing at the same time or what. He is probably being naughty about it, but we usually have to hold ourselves from laughing and can't tell him to stop it.
Ethan just got a picture back from Sundayschool and he looks like everyother Walker boy I have ever seen. Mom would say "that Rev Walker sure has some strong genes." The boys are going to look like triplets when they all get grown judging by this picture. I really didn't realize that they all looked so much alike:}

The sun is shining, It is my day off!

Unfortunately, we had to say no to a very exciting white water rafting trip for the Evster. This came with many sobs and tears. It was welcomed with less than acceptable upsetment from her and the general consensus(if that is a word). I am the bad guy again, it comes with the job. I figure, it is my job to keep her from killing herself while under my jurisdiction. When she is grown she can follow the adventurous spirit that is within her from her Aunties who travelled across the street at Rochdale and hike the rocks on the Palissades.LOL. Right now, I don't have enough faith in the elements of the earth to let her to her own recognizance on such a trip. I love her and I know that she will get over it. Now, I am in the doghouse for a few days, again.
Thanks for the happy comments, always accepted!