Thursday, October 22, 2009

When I walked the Motor Parkway with my Daddy...

He was always in way better shape than I. This was because of his nightly runs with his Uncle Frank. Wait up...Dad. Don't leave me here in the "forest"? That was the forest and the wilderness, right beside the Cross Island Expressway. He was trying to mold me into an athlete, by any means possible. I felt like Gretel and that he was trying to lose me, out there. We are waiting for you to get your own motivation to win, he seemed to say. Needless to say, it never came to me.



I really used to ask God to tell me how he felt from day to day, because it seemed so varied to me, not knowing what to expect. Men are like this sometimes. I would feel the wind outside the house blow briskly and sure enough, when I went inside the whip was out and there was some payment for some infraction being paid; at cost. :(
Even these are good memories now that we can't see him.



Now when I am walking around the parking lot at work or around, I notice other things than the wind blowing and whether my daddy will be tyrading again. I notice the clearness of the sky, as though Brother Marius himself had checked it, like he checked my notebook and not allowed one doodle on it. I notice the birds cavorting with each other in the trees and building families. I really do miss talking with my daddy about the business of child rearing. He would have many choice things to say about my stringbean teenaged boy, probably. Maybe he would say, don't try to feed him too much or he'll get fat like you. Maybe he would say, push him to go after girls as he tried to do to me. "Call Mark Ruffins, Jayne." Maybe he was too much in my life and maybe I was too much in his. But I really do miss him alot, these days.

2 comments:

Joanne Bodden said...

There are so many different ways to look at memories. Memories of Dad are not easy because he was so overworked.I used to think: don't have too many kids and don't work too hard or you may turn into a monster!!! Now I see that there are sweet and sour seeds with in all of us~ water the sour seeds and you'll be miserable. If we tend to the good seeds they will grow and more good will come from that good... i think you have a great garden ( metaphorically) May you keep watering the best in yourself and your family:-)

Jayne said...

I see my daddy and my mommy in the mirror and that makes me remember different things. I can't talk about it so I write it down. Thanks for, "listening".

Title- The Studious One!

Title-  The Studious One!
artwork by Elyse

Of biscuits and syrup

Of biscuits and syrup
tasty treats

Happy Saturday!

Happy Saturday!
a day at the Raptor Center.

Widdle Emmie in outer space school

Emmie jumped on the bus and off it flew out into the atmosphere. There was a set of clouds with turbulence right above the house and it took a few minutes for my Emmie to buckle her seatbelt. They hit the bump hard and it knocked my Emmie out of her seat and she bumped her head. The video camera came on and the monitor looked through and stated, Ms. Emmie, where are you? You are not in your seat. Where are you? I am alright I fell because I hadn’t buckled correctly. Well jump up Emmie we have a long way to go and you have to be buckled there is entirely too much turbulence in the stratosphere for you to unbuckle now. As soon as we are through this weather system there will be straight sailing but right now you must buckle. Emmie scrambled into the seat with intensity and purpose now. She watched every cloud pass her window and her nose was pressed to the window trying to see the top of the house as it drifted slowly out of sight. Soon they were not only out of sight of the house, the sun came out brightly and just as quickly they were putting on the atmospherical breathing apparatus and the outerspherical lights. The ABA and the OL. These precautions were to make them appear to be satellites to the radar as they were out in the ionosphere. Emmie knew all about this now. She had gone to the orientation and had a good breakfast and it took them 20 minutes for her to get out past the atmospherical pull and to feel the zero gravity. It would be 15 minutes before the gravity simulators would take effect, a glitch in the system which was being worked on. Until then, they enjoyed the couple of minutes of floatation, while being connected to the seats by belt. The first thing they saw everyday was the strataflotsam. The items which had been dumped into the atmosphere by earlier generations. What would their generation do about this ecological waste area that remained floating above their heads? This was a question for the generations. For now it was the area that they had to guide through on the way to school.

Midnight at the OASIS

Midnight at the OASIS
Sunset in Huntersville

My little Emmie

ran to the bus on the first day of the last year of school. 2 buns on the side of her head. She kissed me and ran at dawn to the bus. She was starting the adventure of a lifetime. I would never see that little girl again, she was going to woman school!

My Father and I 1989

My Father and I 1989

to the tune of Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme

A VISIT TO PAPA





Are you going to Mary Immaculate?
Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Remember me to the one who lived there,

He once was a true love of mine,

Tell him to buy me an acre of land,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Between the muddy Hudson in Jamaica Bay,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,
Tell him to sow in it seeds of pure cream,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And build Ice cream mountains and buildings of whipped cream,
Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,

Tell him to reap them with sickles of M&M’s,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And chew bubble gum and eat till we’re done,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine.

Tell him to run it off down the motor parkway,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

After your done 50 pushups

and jog down the West Side Highway,

Then he’ll be a true love of mine…
(Don’t wait for me today dad, The kids are sick again, My tummy’s bulging again, My heart is aching again, And now there’s no love there…)


He once was, a true love of mine….So, Girls, I do beg you don't miss your Daddy,Apricots, Chocolate cherries and Pie,You have one short chance to see him on this side, Go visit him and let your light shine.