Friday, July 31, 2009

My Daddy, My friend!

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think or talk about my daddy. He was an indellible part of my life. His determination to go past his personal bias and stay and be a father, when he had every impulse not to, was an admirable quality. I will laud and appreciate that about him until I can't talk or write.
The longer that I live the more that I see the difficulty of living as mother and father to a bunch of children, your own and anybody else's, to whom you represent a mommy and a daddy.
It is his 70th birthday and this birthday I am not lamenting or crying, as years past. I am rejoicing in his memory. I feel as close to him as ever. And I think about what he would or would not say or do and it is much a part of my decision making process. I don't necessarily do or don't do based on what he did, but, on how he thought about something or other. He thought about everything and he told me so. I am so pleased that everyone of my brother and sisters make it clear that they think and express that thought in blogs and movies and care for other human beings and teaching. That is a Legacy.
Everytime I went to the nursing home and Dad was eating apricots, he would offer me some. He looked at me like, I know that this sweet flavor is something that you would like. With a gleam and a glint in his eyes, he would offer. It is really good, you will see. Tastes better than chocolate, I think and less fatty. I always, always said no, and emphatically, too. He was trying to share and he always grumbled that I wouldn't take it from him. Not even a little taste. After he had passed on, a couple of years, I bought a small package of them to try in private. Expecting to have to throw them away. Just a memory thing and I put it in my mouth and the tears came streaming out of my eyes. I had missed years of an opportunity to enjoy a mutual taste that we had for the sweet things in life. You have a sweet tooth, Jayney, he would say. I would check each of my teeth to figure which of them was the sweet tooth. When I would bring the children, he would buy M&M's for all but me. You have a sweet tooth, Jayney. He knew me, very well and I knew him very well. I am glad to have had a father who could teach me about myself. I am grateful that my mother put up with him all of those years and didn't put him out, so that he could teach me about myself so deeply. I know she misses him and I wish her every condolence as she braves the elements and shows the courage that it takes to be the woman that she is.
I do miss watching him open every card and looking here and there for money. Shaking them like a little boy.

I miss the way that he got upset that we could never find the right sized shirt for him, either too big or too small and the long explanations of how the shirt was supposed to fit just right. I miss getting together with you guys on that day to see how much everybody had grown, although I know you will probably all get together anyway at Jo's or Ju's and do it, how we do it! Enjoy!
Enjoy your own memories of the day, loved ones!


Joanne Bodden said...

Hey Jayne
I was painting the walls and remembered how he'd perspire and curse and fumble. At the time I never knew the story of why his hand was the way it was and would marvel at how frustrated he'd get over what seemed to be a simple task to me but now looking back I am amazed at his perseverance and his love!Remember how he'd call mom's name when she was away WOW I thought he really loves her! All of his daughters have been lucky to have witnessed this. Happy 70th Day ! I carry him in my heart in all I do.

Jayne said...

Hi, I can just imagine you painting that sweet little house. Dad would have gotten such a kick out of making a huge deal helping you paint. No, no, I will put this and that and then the cussing and what not. It would have been cute to see. What color?

Joanne Bodden said...

Uncle Pat had a Hunter Green which was too dark for me! I wanted to keep it in the green family so I went to a pastel called Whispering Wisdom which looks like creamy celery. i like it alot I think he would have liked it too. Lot of worked! I'll Post some shots for you to see on FB.
Love you Jayne Great post !

Title- The Studious One!

Title-  The Studious One!
artwork by Elyse

Of biscuits and syrup

Of biscuits and syrup
tasty treats

Happy Saturday!

Happy Saturday!
a day at the Raptor Center.

Widdle Emmie in outer space school

Emmie jumped on the bus and off it flew out into the atmosphere. There was a set of clouds with turbulence right above the house and it took a few minutes for my Emmie to buckle her seatbelt. They hit the bump hard and it knocked my Emmie out of her seat and she bumped her head. The video camera came on and the monitor looked through and stated, Ms. Emmie, where are you? You are not in your seat. Where are you? I am alright I fell because I hadn’t buckled correctly. Well jump up Emmie we have a long way to go and you have to be buckled there is entirely too much turbulence in the stratosphere for you to unbuckle now. As soon as we are through this weather system there will be straight sailing but right now you must buckle. Emmie scrambled into the seat with intensity and purpose now. She watched every cloud pass her window and her nose was pressed to the window trying to see the top of the house as it drifted slowly out of sight. Soon they were not only out of sight of the house, the sun came out brightly and just as quickly they were putting on the atmospherical breathing apparatus and the outerspherical lights. The ABA and the OL. These precautions were to make them appear to be satellites to the radar as they were out in the ionosphere. Emmie knew all about this now. She had gone to the orientation and had a good breakfast and it took them 20 minutes for her to get out past the atmospherical pull and to feel the zero gravity. It would be 15 minutes before the gravity simulators would take effect, a glitch in the system which was being worked on. Until then, they enjoyed the couple of minutes of floatation, while being connected to the seats by belt. The first thing they saw everyday was the strataflotsam. The items which had been dumped into the atmosphere by earlier generations. What would their generation do about this ecological waste area that remained floating above their heads? This was a question for the generations. For now it was the area that they had to guide through on the way to school.

Midnight at the OASIS

Midnight at the OASIS
Sunset in Huntersville

My little Emmie

ran to the bus on the first day of the last year of school. 2 buns on the side of her head. She kissed me and ran at dawn to the bus. She was starting the adventure of a lifetime. I would never see that little girl again, she was going to woman school!

My Father and I 1989

My Father and I 1989

to the tune of Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme


Are you going to Mary Immaculate?

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Remember me to the one who lived there,

He once was a true love of mine,

Tell him to buy me an acre of land,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

Between the muddy Hudson in Jamaica Bay,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,

Tell him to sow in it seeds of pure cream,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And build Ice cream mountains and buildings of whipped cream,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine,

Tell him to reap them with sickles of M&M’s,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

And chew bubble gum and eat till we’re done,

Then, He’ll be a true love of mine.

Tell him to run it off down the motor parkway,

Apricots, Chocolate Cherries and Pie,

After your done 50 pushups

and jog down the West Side Highway,

Then he’ll be a true love of mine…

(Don’t wait for me today dad, The kids are sick again, My tummy’s bulging again, My heart is aching again, And now there’s no love there…)

He once was, a true love of mine….So, Girls, I do beg you don't miss your Daddy,Apricots, Chocolate cherries and Pie,You have one short chance to see him on this side, Go visit him and let your light shine.